Can't be saved.

just words.

                                 Can't be saved

I stood by the Lake Huron lake and I told her. I'm the last man standing.

My children and grandchildren need me. My children need a strong father and the little one's need
a joyous grandfather. Beautiful daughters need a father going forward, not backward.

I told the Clinton river. I'm so damn tire. I put my hands into the flowing water. Allow the chill and the coldness to awake my mind.

I quit moving lately. Questioning life and death? I told the wind and the trees. Suicide is easy. Being alive is hard. My brothers got scared at twenty years old. Kicked away a chair and left this world. Death is a dead-end. There is no-more debt or regret.

I'm standing in the Upper Michigan forest. I caressed the ancient trees. My favorite tree is the witches tree. I like how she reaches out in so many directions. People fear them. I like them because they reach to God and to the earth. They spread their branches like a welcoming embrace that can hold you forever. I wish to be a witches tree. Be able to reach out to so many things, not to be grounded, to reach for the sky only.

I haven't felt good in a long time. Been locked-in to a dead-end job and the walls are caving in. The Coyote spirit is fading.

I wonder can the Coyote sing and dance again? Can the Coyote be the joker and find the place of laughter?

Maybe the Coyote is no-more.

I asked the river, lake and the ancient trees.  Am I a worthwhile part of life?

The kind wind whispered to me. You are not so important. You must leave good earth behind one day. You must be the gardener of the future now. You must water with knowledge your children and grandchildren. Give them strength and wisdom.

The joker must come alive. Laugh, sing and dance till the end. Trick the people who enslaved you. Write and speak of peace and love. Leave something worthwhile behind. Death will come soon enough. Better to be surrounded by children, laughter and hold the old dreams tightly.

Suicide is easy and life is harder.

                       John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

A new poem. I hope you like.

Reviews

[Valentine]

John, I love how your writing often gives reference to the beliefs of your fore fathers, the American Indian. I have often thought in history classes we all should have studied them as well as all of the other people we did study. They are what made America in the first place. As for this poem, we all want to keep you around and are happy to call you a special friend. Valentine

[Coyote Poetry]

I will be around for awhile. Grandchildren need their Grandpa. Thank you for reading and the comment. I appreciate my dear friend.

[June Fowler]

Hi hang on !! Tones of warm love and regards for u and the family We all need u dear, specially me! Thanks for being a worthy friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm okay. Just bad and good days. Thank you for the concern. I have three grand-boys who need the free babysitter.

[June Fowler]

lol just for your ears, you can buy my book Yellow from the net for your grand kids and also kindly tell your friends and others in the family about it too. Lots of love and regards.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yup, i really like it. Sweet poem. And yeah...stepping out for good, sometimes seems like the answer...it is not. Spend all the time you can with your family. Nice poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right Danny. Sometime family time is needed. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome. I'm just returnin the favor. :)

[hyenatree]

A deeply moving reflection on suicide and why to keep on living- "leave something worthwhile behind". The writing is so blunt and matter-of-fact that it hits you straight in the gut. Often works exploring these themes feel phoney and contrived, but seems about as honest as it is possible to be. People venting their emotions like this are the reason that these sites exist. Terrific.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for the kind words. I have lost five brothers. Two to suicide and two to the drugs. Taught me the value of life and the new day.

[Jolyon Hallows]

"Suicide is easy and life is harder." Insightful and poignant

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Jolyon for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[A. H. Pinley]

I stood by the Lake Huron lake and I told her. I'm the last man standing.
(I stood by Lake Huron and told her, "I'm the last man standing.")
Leaving a bright legacy is lifetime achievement.
Nice work!

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree and thank you for reading my friend.