Broken Ground

Poem about the situation the world is in now.

Waves crash on the broken shore

Bringing back haunting memories

Childhood dreams once there,

Vanishing, carried by the sea-breeze

Hope vanished, love buried deep

Clouds carry raindrops like a teardrop,

Beautified and brought into nature

Do they ever think and stop?

Beasts aren't as cruel as man

Mankind deformed and defeated

Crashes and storms as lightning flashes

The broken camera of one who created

Gunshots, fires, men in green and brown

Camouflaged not only their bodies, but also souls

Dirt-stained souls, filled with evil

Leaving hearts behind, covered in holes

Beloved ones ripped away from home

Homes beaten to the blood-stained ground

Tell me now, if you can find the answer

Where in this world is love to be found?

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at a poem, please go easy on me and I need a lot of advice!
Flow and rhythm isn't great, but I focused more on my feelings and the message I wanted to convey than the actual symmetry. Thank you for reading!

Reviews

[Romalina]

The Poem is well written and you portray your feeling really well with the words fitting in well with the flow :)
Good Work!!

[Cass Morgan]

Thank you so much for your review!

[Prantik Ali]

I am not a good reviewer.
I would just like to say that this poem is deep. I really really liked it a lot :)

[Cass Morgan]

Thank you so much for your review!

[Lavorther]

I liked the message and feelings behind the poem, and how you described the current events. This was pretty deep, and I loved the metaphors and images you painted.

That said, there's not much advice I can give, as I am pretty inexperienced with poetry too.

[Cass Morgan]

Thank you so much for reading and your review. It was inspired by your poem, so thank you for that :D

[Lavorther]

Thank you, I means a lot to me that my writing inspired you :)

[Davy]

I'm no expert - so please take this as it comes.....As a 'first effort' it reads quite well. I can 'feel' where you're coming from and grasp the thread of the poem - so that must be a good start. I think poetry is as much about what comes from the heart as opposed to simple technical ability. As with all writing - I guess the more you do - the better you get - and the more you learn. Thanks for sharing....

[Cass Morgan]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read! I guess that's pretty much how it all goes: the more you do something, the better you get every time. I will try and write more poetry, since I actually discovered I enjoy doing it. Thank you- again.

[Firemay]

hey!! The best thing about poems is that they don't have rules, but if you give it a rule, you have to follow it all the way. It doesn't have to rhyme and it doesn't have to flow or have great rhythm, these are all things you should think about when written your poem. How do I want it to be?
Your poem is great, i liked it and it's meaning, very deep. I think the way you go from one stanza to the next is something you should work on if you want it to have a better rhythm.
It was great!!

[Cass Morgan]

Thank you so much for your comment and advice, and for taking the time to review. I'm very grateful you liked it!

[BThomvanWart]

Yes, you're right when you say the flow and rhythm isn't great, but it's a great start and I personally love unpolished work! Especially when it shows potential to become something refined and gorgeous. I get your message - fighting internally and externally seems to be the only thing people do anymore and when it's time to address our actions, we continue to fight each other and our selves that much harder. I think, reading this, it needs one more stanza in the middle to provide a smoother transition from beasts and man to guns and violence. But, overall, I think it's a pretty great start! Great job!

[Cass Morgan]

Thank you so much for your comment and constructive criticism. I think you're right about the stanza in the middle- I'll definitely work on that one. Thank you again!