The Boy With The Bow Tie

The boy with the bow tie was completely still. His mother sat next to him, with a ring of red surrounding her eyes. She adjusted his bow tie.

“I want you to look your very best,” she said, trying to fight back tears.

“Do you remember when your uncle Danny died?” she asked.

“Well this is a little bit like that…” she said, beginning to cry again. Her tears fed the red rings around her eyes. There were other young children in the church who ran around not understanding the respect and reverence that was proper for this occasion. A few more couples walked in dressed in black. In the front of the chapel an elderly woman sat behind a grand piano playing a downbeat tune.

Finally the pianist stopped playing the music and everyone found their seats, even the restless children. His mother stood up facing the crowd of mourners.

“I’d like to thank you all for coming,” she said wiping tears from her face.

“It’s nice to know how many people my son truly affected in his short eleven years of living," she said bending down into the casket in front of her and readjusting his bow tie again.

Reviews

[Vanesa Markovic]

Even the great ones had to start somewhere.

This was a very sad read, and the ending was executed perfectly.
Her constant readjusting of his tie gives the piece solid, raw feeling.
A mothers despair, her nurturing nature even in death, we can only
feel for her, and alongside her, mourn the loss.

A very heartfelt write!
Write on!

[xCasper]

The simplicity is what gives it power. Why add meaningless words when I can get the job done with so few? Less is more, and in this instance it truly hones the saying. The story isn't about the boys death. The story isn't a story at all, just an exert from a funeral in which a distraught mother re-adjusts a bow tie. Flash fiction = beauty.

[halflives]

This is an excellent start to a career that I'm confident will go far.

Although I would have liked to see more of the story, the longevity, but I think the story was quite good on it's own. I liked how you kept the fact that the boy was dead a mystery until the end of the story. I think you should rewrite this, making it longer, or perhaphs write of the boy's death.

After all, I have an obsession with bow ties.