Left For A Reason

My wish growing up was your love, and acceptance

But I got neither.

My hope was that you'd spend time with me

But instead, you abused me.

 

What can a little girl do so wrong?

I was heartbroken, so I turned to song.

I hated when you made mom cry,

but she just told me nothing.

 

I just knew you were out doing

Something bad again.

Then, when I got older,

I started to spot beer cans.

 

I knew it was a grown-up drink,

one that mom didn't like.

And every time you picked it up,

You two would always fight.

 

She couldn't control you,

Like she controlled me.

You are a grown-up,

That's made childish choices.

 

You fought with my mom,

And called her names.

And all I could do,

Was block out the voices.

 

The beer smelled bad,

I took a sip.

If mom saw me do that,

She would've flipped.

 

But I was a kid,

And you were foolish enough

To leave it on the counter.

And I was invisible,

So why did it matter?

 

I thought to myself,

Why would you drink this?

We smelled it on you,

And she tasted it in your kiss.

 

Why did this make mom mad?

Why did this liquid make everyone sad?

I couldn't understand it; I was too young to know.

But one day, you came home,

And I heard her telling you to go.

 

Part of me was upset,

Another part wasn't.

She opened up the door,

But then I heard you shut it.

 

I just wanted you to quit fighting,

But you didn't, so I turned to writing.

No one listened to me; I cried but no one heard me.

Eric wasn't alive yet, and Ally was fast asleep.

 

They are lucky, 'cause they didn't go through it,

I did.

I was traumatized beyond belief-

I saw and heard things I wasn't supposed to...

Hell, I was only a kid.

 

I would never wish pain on anyone -

I have a big heart, and still do.

But now it has cracks,

And I can't find the super-glue.

 

Still, to this day, my parents fight.

My dad still drinks, and he knows it's not right.

But he doesn't care - he only cares for himself;

He ignored me when I needed help.

 

But now I'm an adult,

and so, I chose to leave.

'Cause anything is better than

a house full of hate.

 

Ally and Eric don't understand,

and for that, they are lucky.

I love them, but even at their age,

They manage to hurt me.

 

My dad's still a drunk,

Except now, I'm not his target.

I wonder who it is now -

If it's my mom, she deserves it.

 

Now he can't spit hate

From his mouth, to me.

I left for a reason,

And I'm anything but sorry.