Chapter 18

The days continued like the previous. They chatted, helped around the place, and did a different thing every day. One day, it was filing, the next it was tidying up the garden and the day after that it was fixing the chairs and tables downstairs, which were beginning to fall apart. They grew accustomed to their routine and sunk back into getting up in the morning and knowing what the day would bring them.

They visited the council office with Josh on Saturday. And they told the story to a social worker, with wiry glasses and a bushy beard. And he kept on dropping his pen as he was writing everything down. They stayed there for a long time, going through forms, and being asked questions. But a lot of the time they were waiting for a different person to come in for a certain form or whilst he made a call.

This was the time when Michael was beginning to notice how nervous James was. His breathing had become more like panting, faster and shallower, gradually. A layer of sweat had formed on his forehead and a singular bead had rolled down his cheek. He was also swallowing more often than usual, and his eyes were flicking around. Michael turned to him and said. “Look at me James.” And James gazed into his deep blue eyes. “I know you are nervous. But these people are professionals, and no matter what happens to us, it will happen together.” Michael offered James his hand, and James locked them together. James had calmed down.

The man, Mr Agakenchi according to his badge, walked out of the room. “I have just made a call to your parents James. Both your mother and father were there. They both cried and begged me to let you see them. They said that they’re sorry. You have no obligation to meet or talk with them, but they’re on hold right now, so do you want to talk?” He asked.

James thought about it. His parents had hurt him, and he wasn’t sure that the scar they left on him would ever heal. But maybe they could still reconcile. He tried to always look for the good in people and maybe he would have to do it here. “I’ll talk to them.” He replied.

“Do you want a private call.” Mr Agakenchi followed up. James shook his head. He walked into the room and sat down. He looked over at Michael who smiled at him and nodded his head, in a sign of support. He took a deep breath and picked up the phone. “Hello.” He said.

“James.” Cried his mum. “We’re sorry that you ran away. Please come home my baby. Please. We can talk this out. You know we love you.”

James sighed and replied. “I can’t say you didn’t hurt me, but maybe things can change. I just need you to answer this question.”

“What is it, James?” She replied, with a voice that reminded James of when he was tiny, and he showed his mum something he had learnt something or when he had found something in the garden. And it made him remember.

“I love Michael. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Can you say you support me in wanting to do that. Can you?” He asked sincerely.”

“James, you’re my sign and I love you. It doesn’t matter -.” She stuttered.

“Answer the question.” He said, keeping his voice low and calm.

“Come on James.” His Dad chimed in. Somehow attempting to discourage his question.

“I have values I have always believed in James. And I believe people can change.” She stammered. Trying go find a way to not say yes, without making it sound like she hated him.

“Just what I thought. You can’t.” And he hung up before either of them could say goodbye.

“Well, you never should have to see them again. And if you do just call me.” Mr Agakenchi replied, who seemed to have understood the brief phone call from only what James had said. “I’ll call Michael’s parents next, so if you could just pop back to the waiting room for the last time.”

He called them back in and told Michael the same thing. Apparently, Michael’s parents had been a bit ruder than James’s parents. “Do you want to speak to them.” He asked.

“Yes.” Michael immediately responded. “I don’t care if anyone listens.” So all of them walked into room and he confidently but aggressively picked up the phone.”

“Hey.” He said.

“Hello Michael.” Greeted his father, not warmly at all. “You’ve had a right nice time haven’t you. Prancing around with your little boyfriend, through the fields. Some man you are. And you know how hard it’s been for us; you’re mother has been sobbing non-stop for the past two weeks. I’m not able to work because of it. You’re my only son Michael. We’ve done so much for you, and you repay us like this. Being a f*g, I thought I raised you better.” He shouted.

“So hard on you?” Gasped Michael and raised his voice. “Have you just thought about me for one second. I’m sorry you’ve not been able to work properly, you made me want to kill myself. Hell, if it wasn’t for James I would have, and that would be on you. Would it have been hard on you?” He began to cry. “You think I wanted this? You think I choose who I love? You think I wanted to have my parents hate me and make my life more difficult? What choice did you give me? I’m sorry that this is who I am. And I’m sorry I’m not your perfect straight white son, who marries a woman has a family and gets a desk job, like I know you wanted me to be. I’m sorry that I had to be born and cause you all this trouble. Listen to yourself. How dare you hate me for who I am. I was never going to hurt you. But you just seem to hate me for the way I exist. Do I not feel? Do I not feel? Goodbye.”

“Michael -.” But before his dad could scream at him. He burst out into tears. James hugged him and comforted him. And he cried into James’s shoulder until it was soaked.

“Thank you, sir.” He addressed Mr Agakenchi. “I needed that.”

They were told that was all, and they had been added to a foster list, and they got back into the car. James held Michael’s hand in the backseat, who although his eyes and cheeks were moist held a strong smile. “Thanks for taking us today, Josh.” Thanked Michael.

And Josh, who seemed to be holding back tears of his own, replied. “Don’t worry. We have a bunch of volunteers coming on Saturday, so I was free. I like you two boys anyway. It’s a pleasure to see you happy together.” And Michael smiled to hear that.