Chapter 6

James had a torch and as heard a rustling from the beaten down path, he flicked it on and pointed it towards the small parting in the trees. It was Michael, as he expected. “Alright?” Asked Michael. James was glad to see that Michael was not too out of sorts, and he laughed. “What?” Michael smiled, noticing James’ laughter.

“Even when we’re out here,” James was glad to be lightening as he said this, “you don’t change how you speak. Despite our situation you still act so similar.”

“Is that a problem?” Asked Michael, jokingly.

“No No.” James smiled, nut his face turned more serious as he began to address the situation. “I reckon we set up our tent just on the edge of this clearing. And tomorrow morning we’ll go as far away as we can, then in the evening, we will look for another place to set up our tent. I’ve got a map, and the plan is to head towards Birmingham, by passing Burton and then Tamworth. Once we arrive, we’ll look for shelters, we could get part time jobs each, and then we will just have to figure it out.” Michael began to cry.

“So, we just leave everything behind. Everything we’ve done in our lives. And we’re just going to start again, in a worse position. It’s not fair. Why am I even here? Why did I have to be gay? It would have been so much easier.” He wept.

James put an arm around him. “Don’t think like that. Focus on what’s good around you. If you were never here or were never gay, we would never have what we have. And I think though life may be tougher, that is a pretty good place to start off. I’m sure some people who live in the nicest houses in the world and never worry about money or food, would give that life to have what we have. So have faith.” He said. He knew he had to be a strong rock for Michael. He was terrified of what was happening around him, but he wasn’t only convincing Michael but also convincing himself, because he wanted to believe it. Michael buried his face into James’ shoulder, but he didn’t say anything else.

They put the tent up. Not talking to one another very much, except to say things like ‘give me a hand’ or ‘can you hold this down for me’. When the tent was up, they rolled out their sleeping bags and laid them down. They were grateful for the early summer heat, which gave the air a cool tinge to it, not too hot or too cold. They snuggled up next to each other, James run his hand over Michael’s chest. “James.” Michael broke the silence.

“Yeah.” Replied James. Glancing up at him.

Michael ran his hand through James’ hair and asked. “Do you ever get the feeling that life would be easier if you had never existed. But then you realise you’ve come too far, and you can’t just quit, so you must keep on living. And then you go around with a feeling of pressure and guilt because you’re not living for yourself? Or am I just stupid?”

“Yeah. I get that feeling too.” Reflected James. “But it’s a stupid feeling. If you live like that. You can never find out what you really value and enjoy, and you can never evolve as a person. So you just lived trapped in the same mindset, and you can never be truly happy.”

“Ok. Thanks.” Responded Michael, quietly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Replied James.

James fell asleep quickly. Michael figured it was probably because of how stressed James had been today, he finally got a chance to relax. Michael didn’t like how James was so stressed about him, because he was so protective of him, and Michael wanted to remind him he was strong enough mentally to deal with these problems. But he appreciated the help, and he also found it sweet how much James cared about him, and how James always wanted him to never be hurt. It also happened when Michael would return from rugby or football with an injury, and James would be very careful to make sure it was well looked after, and he always got nervous the match after Michael returned. He remembered when he broke his leg. And only an hour or so after coming home. James turned up with some cookies and looked after Michael. After that, James always came to Michael’s games and winced whenever Michael fell over and would always rush to the nurses when Michael went there, to check everything was ok.

Some hair had fallen onto James’ face while he was asleep. Michael pushed the beautiful black hair back. To get a better look at James’ smooth beautiful face. He kissed James’ sleeping head gently, and with a smile on his face, he fell asleep.

Author's Note

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