Anna

This is a story that i wrote a couple of mounths ago. Please Enjoy...

 

            David’s shoes soaked up the rain on the sidewalk as he went. He had forgotten to take an umbrella and the rain was dripping off of his hair onto his already wet face. He walked hunched over with his hands in his pockets, shivering, determined to get back to his apartment. He came to a crosswalk and waited for a stop in traffic. He turned to look at the other side of the street and shook a little bit. A woman with flowing brown hair and a porcelain face closely resembling a china doll, stepped out from under a covering onto the sidewalk. She attempted to hail a cab and hold her umbrella steady at the same time. David’s breathing was uneven and shallow as he watched the woman across the street. The noise from the rain beating on the street slowly faded away and he flashed back to a conversation he had had almost two years ago. This was the first time he had thought of it in a while and he never liked how it ended. Everything faded away and he could almost hear her voice again.

           

                                                                  ***

                                                

            David walked through the doorway and threw his coat on the hook. His glance immediately turned to Anna, who was sitting on the couch rubbing her hands together as if seeing what would happen if she just sat there and did it long enough. When she looked up, he saw in her eyes that something was terribly wrong. David slowly walked over to where Anna was and sat down in front of her.

            “What’s wrong?” he asked

            “I -I- I’m not happy, David.” She said

             He didn’t know what to say so he suddenly became very interested in his shoes. In a way, he knew this was coming. They had become more distant in the last few weeks and tension was brewing.

            “What do I do?” asked David. She moved her attention to her hands again and started talking.

            “Do you even care anymore?” She asked.

            “About us?” His armchair didn’t feel as comfortable as it had a minute ago.

            “Yeah, because all you care about is you- and I can’t take it anymore.”

            He wanted to say something to debate this but he knew it was true. Every night for a month, he had gone out to a bar or out with his friends. He had already promised to change, but that hadn’t worked out so far.

             “Anna, I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to be better. I-I promise.”

            She stood up and looked over to the corner. For the first time, David noticed a small black suitcase that was obviously packed. He jumped to his feet trying to make some since of all the things he wanted to say in his head. “Don’t go” he said in a desperate attempt to stop her. She sighed and shook her head. Her voice was almost too quiet for David to hear. “I have to.”

            She looked at him and then back to the floor. She bit her lip and then a sudden power seemed to overtake her weakness. Her voice grew steadily stronger in each word.  “All you’ve done is think of yourself.” She looked up at David and didn’t blink. “But now I have to start thinking about me.”

            She walked over to her bag in the corner and picked it up. She turned to the door and opened it. She stopped for a split second but didn’t turn around. Then she kept going, leaving David standing rooted to his spot. He stared at the back of the door not knowing what to do. And he could never bring himself to say goodbye.

 

                           ***   

 

            David was still looking at her with his expression glazed over, when she suddenly looked up and their eyes met. At first she seemed just as taken aback as David was, to see the person they had cared about so many years before standing across the street. They looked for another second or two, not noticing anything but each other.

            David inhaled sharply as if just realizing that she saw him. He raised an open hand in the air, trying to wave, but the message wouldn’t get from his brain to his hand. After a short pause, she got the message and gave an awkward wave back. David found the fact that they were acting like colleges slightly unsettling. All he had ever wanted in his life was standing right in front of him, but he knew he couldn’t do anything about it.

            She shifted her umbrella in her hand trying to distract herself from looking at David. They stared at each other for another moment until a cab pulled in front of her. She smiled slightly at him not knowing what to do. Then, in one smooth motion, picked up her bag, opened the car door, and got in. David looked at the car with longing eyes and whispered “Goodbye, Anna”. And as the cab pulled away, he turned, and crossed the busy street. Then they went in different directions, just like they had done so long ago, and continued the rest of their lives.

Author's Note

Please reveiw my writing. I like to know if things are good- or not.

Reviews

[bailish]

Excellent start. Your description casts a vivid image in my mind's eye. I especially like how you describe from the man's point of view so clearly.

Very good. It leaves the question in my mind that if she was everything that meant anything to him, then why did he go out every night with the boys?