Awakening

The awakening of delights.
The claiming of a heart and soul
and the body which encases the two.
My touch sent waves of sexual energy
to every nerve she possesses.
I felt her skin pimple with carnal rapture.
Her whimpers turned to moans
as our tongues entwined, exchanging
nibbles on bottom lips.
My hands wandered to touch the smooth skin
of her thigh.
Those exquisite thighs.
My fingers then mingled with the warm folds of her labia.
Its dewey delights beckoning them inside.
I slid in further, curling my digits to reach her g spot.
A shudder shook her being with a force she'd never known.
I applied pressure to her pelvic bone,
lingering and holding the pressure.
A scream of primal exstacy roared from her soul
and exited her mouth.
Erratic breaths and spasms.
All the while biting and kissing her neck.
I then began to caress her love bud.
I believe she shed a tear.
Or perhaps it was a drip of sweat that wet my cheek.
Another wave of exstacy, another earth shattering shudder.
Now a puddle in the seat beside me.
This is how you make out with a chick in a car.

Reviews

[angel]

This is how you make out with a chick in a car, he says.
"I felt her skin pimple with carnal rapture."
This has really got to go. This is NOT sexy; it sounds as though your mere touch causes lesions to appear.
And that pelvic bone thing...what? Sounds painful!

"The awakening of delights.
The claiming of a heart and soul
and the body which encases the two.
My touch sent waves of sexual energy
to every nerve she possesses. "

This was a good, strong start.
Kinda lost me between that and the pelvic bone thingy.
The last line was just plain terrible, but the puddle in the seat beside you was pretty good.
I would work on it. It could be good.

[Carson Kramer]

Lol. Thank you for such a blistering review! Can't win 'em all, I suppose. Really, I wrote it for myself, and my muse. It matters little, if you appreciate it, or not. Thank you, for reading, and caring enough to comment.
Genuinely,
Carson

[angel]

If you think that review was 'blistering', hang on to yer hat, son! I've seen way, WAYYY more blisters!
Hell, I've GOTTEN some of em.
Don't mention it. Any old time.

[Carson Kramer]

I should point you to my"real", account. "Nipplegrinder". I've been here, for nearly three years. You should stop by and leave some reviews.

[angel]

Ooooh...yeah, that names the sort of description that'll stay with ya...I almost remember you...and with my memory issues that's saying a lot.
I remember decades ago just fine, but things that happened recently--very spotty.

[Carson Kramer]

Hahaha. Imma keep you around. You make me grin. Also, keep my feet planted firmly on the ground.

[angel]

Okay, man. I'm around. Keep smilin'.

[Delmar Cooper]

"love bud"? That alone wounds my heart with monotonous languor. I read the poem carefully and considered taking notes until the voice of reason whispered, then shouted, "Forget it, you're past all that."

[Carson Kramer]

Oh, well. Can't win 'em all, Del.