Chapter 1. Charles and Robert Williams

excerpt: "Aren’t we capable of loving ourselves for the first time to the fullest extent?? Ah! Perhaps it is not so easy as the author proclaims it too be..."

Chapter I.

The life of Charles Alan Williams and his partner Robert Williams was just as tedious, and vapid as any sane persons could barely stand.

The two men were chained like two old dogs to their quarters. Rarely anymore did they venture from outside their home, and when they did, it was only out of absolute necessity.

Why then did the two disease themselves like this? Both of them claimed, their life suited them fine. For Robert’s case, that wasn’t far from the truth; which we shall discuss later, dear reader. Charles, on the other hand, had a bad tendency to keep all his emotions tightly bottled up inside of him. Which, consequently, over the course of many years, lead him to be solemn, arrogant, and very bitter. 

Robert, unlike his counterpart, kept no pent up emotions. He loved spending hours, upon hours watching television, and eating. Consuming anything that came into his path. His gut swelled grotesquely. 

Charles was much more reserved, he did not partake to food as much as Robert. He enjoyed a quaint, small breakfast, a hearty lunch, and a descent portioned dinner. Sadly though, for the two’s wanting of food, they were terrible cooks.

Both Charles and Robert were retired and both were fifty five. Charles, was especially grateful for being retired. Often through his youth and middle life he had been jokingly teases as to why he had never married. He would always jokingly scoff it off, and in a matter of minutes nearly everyone had nearly forgotten what the original subject of conversation had been.

Everyone who knew, and some who didn’t know Charles very well, remarked what a competent gentleman he was. Very handsome, he could have had any lady he desired. They came to him in flocks and herds. His parents continued to coax him gently, until the fateful day he told them the truth. Then the much loved, respected, and praised gentleman became the subject of shame and scorn to his family. So he left them all. Where they had abandoned him in soul, he abandoned them in being. There jeers, and remarks remained with him, intermixed with the very old, long gone remarks of begotten praise, love, and caresses. Charles became lost, a realization had enlightened him, he should never truly love or give friendship again, then he would never have to worry that he would be forsaken by anyone again. He also realized that ones true feelings should never be shone into the light. However, we shall learn; as will Charles, that this notion of his making, would take any person, man, woman, or child into the deepest bowls of misery, despair. As much as Charles claimed to love the arts, the creative, free, and self-expressing way of artists. The way many cared not how other viewed their works; their masterpieces. The ideals of loving ones self, and acceptance  of who you are on the inside; to be able to express that to the outside world, Charles was inept to that.

At first, when Charles had learned of his condemnation from his family, he cheered and jumped. For once he was free from their controlling grasp, he was his own! Or was he?? Really?? His brain, not his heart or subconscious had the utter control of his soul, so now everyday was wretched and miserly, He came to loathe the sun, and he cursed the moon. He prayed to the stars, and pleaded with the clouds.

Then why did Charles stay with Robert if he be so melancholic?? Charles made no other acquaintances after he made Roberts. Neither man, nor woman's, certainly no child's. Robert to Charles was as a tortoise to it’s shell. Robert was not only his partner, but his only friend. The only person he conversed with day to day. Often enough, Robert would be so busy engaged into the television that his and Charles communication was nearly nil within itself. And so nearly was every other aspect of their lives.

Charles confined himself to the four walls of his room. Often lying in his bed, idly, blaring his classical music to inhibit Robert’s television set. On the occasion, Charles, too, would sample cheeses and wines to accompany his music listening. 

The two men had a system fitting for them. Charles would perform all indoor chores, with the exception of cleaning the toilet, and taking out the garbage. He also did all grocery shopping, and gardening during the summer. Robert, as we know, cleaned the toilet and took out the garbage. He also was in charge of all outdoor chores, with the exception of the garden. The two of them cooked separately, which accommodated them nicely. They never went out to dine, together, or with anyone else, anyway.

Shame, is what bounded them to the floor boards of their home. Their relationship did not withhold within themselves to allow them to shrug at the rest of the world. The days, and years of yesterday are gone. Ideas and belief had shifted and changed. Sometimes, the brain will not coherently comprehend change.

For one of the first times in history both man and woman are able, and capable of truly expressing themselves, we are without hindering our souls capacity, all walks of opportunity are open for our fingertips to grasp! Then why do we feel so inferior?? Can’t we? Aren’t we capable of loving ourselves for the first time to the fullest extent?? Ah! Perhaps it is not so easy as the author proclaims it too be, some things must be taken and learned gradually. Perhaps by reading, and writing maybe we shall find our conclusion. Perhaps, in light, what we think is really the end, may be the prequel to our beginning.

Reviews

[ravena]

what to say... Your writing is Magnificent. The style in which you situated the words.!!!!