Chapter Four

I

 held the biscuit in my left hand and a cup of milk in the other one. My phone flashed the time at my eyes, 9:20, they had come early with supper. I didn’t always have to have supper but lately I had been losing weight instead of gaining it. It was good news to me but bad news for the doctors and my parents. I had been able to skip a few meals with my amazing acting skills, but they had become even stricter so I have had to resort to other ways of losing weight. ‘You’re not actually going to eat that are you?’ I didn’t know, the nurse was staring me right in the eyes ready for any excuse I could throw at her to avoid eating, she was kind of creepy. ‘Seriously, you’ve come too far to take orders from a cookie.’ I breathed a sigh of frustration, my mind was always in constant battle and most of the time I could never win, today I was going to take charge, I wanted to eat, so much, how I missed the taste of chocolate and sweets. How I missed the feeling of being full instead of always being empty. I quickly shoved the biscuits into my mouth and washed it down with the milk. The nurse looked confused but pleased with the outcome of tonight’s challenge. ‘You lying, worthless, fat, girl, do you honestly think that you are smarter? Eating isn’t going to get anywhere except fat camp.’ I shut my eyes trying to block out the voice, ‘You can’t get rid of me, why would you, I’m the only one who speaks the truth, would you rather the truth or be lied to everyday?’ I didn’t know what to do I didn’t know how to stop it, the voice kept playing over and over in my head. ‘Go away!’ I screamed in my head, the voice carried on unaffected.
“Ok Emma, go have a shower and then straight to bed.” The nurse said as she took the cup from my hand. I quickly gathered my pyjamas and toiletries and turned the shower on drowning out the voice.
I wrapped the towel around me to try and keep warm, countless cold showers and I still shivered after them. It was a small price to pay for a great cause. Having cold showers boosted the metabolism. I wrapped my hair in the second towel provided. It was hard enough to warm up but the hospital was always cold for some strange reason. I splashed water onto my face and stared at my reflection in the mirror. How could anyone stand to look at me, look at all this fat, hanging off my face, my stomach, and my legs. Why are they doing this to me, why must I gain all this weight and become fat to please everyone? Why must I eat countless calories for my parents to be able smile when they look at me? I turned away in disgust and began to cry. I feel so worthless and stupid; I began to cry even harder. ‘Just look on the bright side at least your burning calories.’ The voice no matter how cruel it was towards me was still comforting to hear. I turned to my side and tears rolled down my face uncontrollably. My beautiful bones were now under a thick layer of fat. ‘See you need me, you tried to do it on your own and now look your becoming fat.’
“I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry.” I begged for forgiveness, unsure as to why. “Please…I’m sorry…” I sobbed as I curled into a ball.
‘You poor child, if you only you had listened to me the first time, now you have eaten all those unnecessary calories, what will I do with you?’ I wiped my tear stained face with one of the towels. ‘Don’t worry I know how to get rid of them but you must be brave,’ I nodded not sure why. ‘You need to purge and purge good!’ My mouth fell open, I had only purged a couple times and hated it, “But…but I can’t,” I whispered,
‘You insolent child! Did you not just beg me for help, yet when I give you the solution you deny my wisdom!’ The tears that had once been streaming down my face finally came to a halt, I crawled over to the toilet and shoved my finger down my throat, at first nothing happened, ‘Don’t give up, try again!’ I tried once more and instantly my breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper all came up uncontrollably. ‘See look at all that fat you had consumed, all gone, because you listened to me.’

Reviews

[sarah]

i'm so terrible at writing reviews for stories I don't normally read them so bare with me on this lol This was really interesting I really enjoyed it keep writing