The Deal

Zoe was scared she sprinted to the park as fast as she could, who were the men her mum were talking about? She reached the park in four minutes a new record but she didn't care. "Mum!? Dad!? Lucy!?" Zoe circled the park shouting out for her family. "Zoe!" A muffled cry came from the tunnels by the big oak tree. Zoe turned around to investigate. She reached the tunnel and peered inside it to reveal her parents and sister tied up with the men from the science lab guarding them. An involuntary gasp left her mouth, her mothers eyes widened as she saw her daughter. Zoe stood mortified by the picture in front of her. "Hey! You!" One of the guards shouted reaching to catch Zoe's arm but missed. The guards radioed for back up while somebody chased after Zoe. After sprinting to the park and then frantically searching for her parents Zoe had no energy. She stopped to hide behind a tree, Zoe knew better than to look behind her but she had to see if anyone was following. She slowly poked her head out around the tree revealing...nothing. Zoe released a sigh of releif and sat down. "Aaaaah!" Zoe screamed as a hand was place on her shoulder. "tsk, tsk Zoe." As men grabbed Zoe's arm Dr. Washington apperaed in front of Zoe. "Let me go!" Zoe demanded. Dr. Washington pondered on the idea for a short while. "Look i'll make you a deal it's either you or the family." A smile spread across Dr. Washington's face. "What! That is so not fair! Why don't you just leave us alone!?" Zoe screamed. "Looked at the end of the day I have to protect this country from abnormal creatures and i'm sorry to say but that includes you and Claire." Zoe lowered her face so she didn't have to keep staring at the grin on the Doctors face. "The only reason you want to keep us is because you want to win Biologist of the year." Zoe replied. The doctors face didn't look amused. "Look Zoe! It's either you or the family!" The Doctor was obviously tiring from playing games. Zoe tried to sit down and think but the two men that had a tight grip on Zoe's arms wouldn't allow it. As Zoe's eyes swelled with water Dr. Washington knew her choice straight away. "Let her family go and tell her do not try going to the pollice if they ever want to see their 'precious' daughter again." The Doctor radioed some one and straight away a black four-wheel-drive rocked up at the footpath of the park. Tears streamed down Zoe's face. "Look Zoe we're trying to help you." Zoe looked up at the considerate face. Then all of a sudden Zoe turned to bubbles and then reappered as a mermiad even the sand was in her hair the same way the first time she transformed. Tears still streaming down her face, "Great so I can't cry now." As Zoe turned into hysteric Dr. Washington started to get annoyed "Shut her up!" The Doctor demanded. "But how?" came the question of one of the men supporitng Zoe's tail. "Look I don't know give her a sleeping pill or something I don't care just shut her up!" The last thing Zoe remebers is her being buckled down with her tail squished down into a small amount of space and the engine starting.

Reviews

[Carolyn]

oh no it's not finished yet thats all i've written

[LaineyBeetle]

Hmmm this ending was a little bit sudden and unexpected. Just when I thought I would be in for a couple more chapters it just finished and there wasn't much of a resolution at the end to tie the story up. It felt a bit like you just got sick of it and wanted some way to finish as quickly as possible. I think you needed to go further with this. If they did happen to escape, where would they go and how would they get home? Would there even be a happy ending for these two girls? Great beginning, waned in the middle and then picked up slightly at the end but went out without a bang in my opinion. This is a great start though and I would defnitely encourage you to keep writing. You have the potential I just think it needs time to mature.

[Carolyn]

Oh ok thanks membranes sounds like migranes

[Wesley L Dingler]

that was really interesting.
however, if i may say so, i think jellyfish tentacles are called membranes.
forgive me if i'm out of line in saying so.

-wes

[AloysiaVerben]

i like it cheese