The Deed

 

Anyway a couple days later, oh don’t worry Claire found an excuse to get out of it. Zoe was staying over Claire’s house. When they went into Claire’s room the walls weren’t even painted and the only two objects in the room was a bed and a chest of drawers.

“You know Claire I don’t get you, I mean your treated like dirt when you, if you really wanted to know, you could know who your real parents are.”   
 “You don’t understand I can’t I mean what happens if there mass murderers or something!” This subject had always been left in the dark with Zoe but Zoe never minded. "Hey, can I have some water?" Zoe asked her friend. Claire looked at her strangely "Of course." Claire and Zoe ran downstairs giggling to each other as the reached the kitchen Zoe found several Vitamin tablet bottles. "What are these for?" Zoe looked at Claire with curosity. "Oh those their just for stregthening our immune system." Claires reply was low and muttered. "Oh," said Zoe disappointed. "You can have one if you like just make sure it's the one from the blue bottle and not the red one." Claire clarified. "Whats the difference?" Zoe asked. There was no reply. What was the harm of sucking the red ones instead of the blue ones surely it couldn't be that bad. So Zoe took one out of the red bottle instead of the bottle and her and Claire carried on with their fits of gigles.
“Hey...I know a way you can get over your fear of water!”  Exclaimed Zoe.            
  “I would hardly call it a fear, I just don’t like going near  water."              
  “Sure whatever, anyway let’s go on a…..Ferry!”   
   “Oh! I love ferries!”    
    “You do but I thought you hated water?”              “Oh I do but ferries are above water, but who cares we’ll go on one tomorrow!”  So with that Zoe headed home to go to sleep.

Reviews

[Carolyn]

right i never thought about that can you give me any ideas on how i should get her to like turn into a mermaid sort of if you know what i mean.

[LaineyBeetle]

Hmmm... you have a very unusual writing style. In this case however the story seems to carry it well. It is obvious that you are very imaginitive and can weave a great story like magic. You have got me wondering what happens next and wanting to find out what that tablet is all about. I think I might read on and find out! :) (Oh, just one thing I suddenly realised - after reading it again I'm a little worried about the fact that a young girl is taking her friends medication when she doesn't know what it is - although this is a childrens story and it is obviously going to be something fun like turning her into a mermaid - I just think that some parents may be concerned about encouraging kids to swallow mystery tablets! Children have a tendency to take things a little too literally sometimes - even smart ones! That could potentially have a disasterous consequence if a child were to mimic this behaviour after reading your book!)