You're Gonna Get Burnt

Silence filled my mouth 
but I spat it out 
Like it was something 
filthy and vile 

You tried to render me speechless 
but instead I rendered you sightless
Blinded you to the feelings 
of my wounded heart 

You played the game so well 
but I just looked on in amusement 
I've seen all the games before 
they don't impress me any more 

I look weak 
but inside I'm strong 
Even in brokenness 
I'm a force to be reckoned with 

Your promises mean nothing 
to me they are just lies 
dripping from lips 
that are nice to kiss 
but that's about all 

Do you think that you fool me 
with your crocodile smile 
and your smarmy moves 
that charm all the girls 

My heart is locked away 
in a golden box 
behind a thousand walls 
built lovingly 
by my broken soul 

So play your games 
they mean nothing to me 
I know every trick
in your dirty book of deceit

Your motives aren't pure 
you're not looking for love 
You just like what you see 
but I'm not that dumb 

You see
I've been through the wars 
been  left  bleeding on the floor 
Battered and bruised 
after too much abuse 

So if you wanna get off 
go pick on somebody else 
cause if you mess with me babe 
you're gonna get burnt 

 

Reviews

[chandlerl]

There were some beautifully written parts to this poem, the poem itself is a lovely piece of art.

The only part that didn't flow right while reading it was the word brokenness in stanza 4, line 3.

Overall though, it was...fantastic.
This part gave me goose bumps:

"My heart is locked away
in a golden box
behind a thousand walls
built lovingly
by my broken soul"

This part has a lot of meaning to it, it certainly creates a splinter for the mind.
Your heart is locked in a gold box, which means it's truly valued at it's highest worth for you, (which it should be, of course) but it's also behind a thousand walls which ...would be a daunting task for anyone to get through. Then there's the built 'lovingly' by my 'broken soul', which for me translated to although broken or however much in pain you are (which I'm sure relates to the walls part) in there is still the hope of compassion and willingness to love.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Wow thank you I'm glad you saw that in it.

[chandlerl]

As always, breaking down your writing tells a lot about the person, no matter how much they themselves try to conceal.
And this one says that you are a beautiful strong person.
=)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :-)

[Tate Morgan]

Ah sounds like someones after your lucky charms lol Guess youll have to be more selective lol Men arent we just the worst lol

[Carolann Dowsett]

Haha nah no one in particular just a type of guy that annoys me

[Tate Morgan]

Oh well then I swear it wasnt me never met the guy

[Carolann Dowsett]

Nah it's not you Tate your a sweetie :)

[Tate Morgan]

Well Im glad to hear that

[jdr / Jennifer]

A powerful, yet beautiful laid out piece of work. It holds such strength and emotion and I’m sure, many others can relate to- I think all of us, at one time or another has experienced the pain of a broken heart- but once it reaches the soul, it can sometimes change you forever. Thank you for sharing this bold, yet well balanced piece of poetry.

“My heart is locked away
in a golden box
behind a thousand walls
built lovingly
by my broken soul”

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much

[jdr / Jennifer]

You are a wonderful writer- thank you for posting your work.

[Carolann Dowsett]

You are so kind to say that means a lot thank you

[Salar Majak]

i love this poem! so very strong!, i wrote one like it! but this is just much better XDgreat write

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much Sal :)

[CreativeStroke]

"You tried to render me speechless
but instead I rendered you sightless
Blinded you to the feelings
of my wounded heart" This was my favorite stanza in this piece! I loved the wording in it.
"Battered and bruised
after too much abusive" I think you meant to put abuse?

Overall I liked this piece a lot. The edginess in it gave it some spark!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much and thanks for the edit all fixed :)

[Richard Man]

Sounds as if she was Sally Heart without her angels.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Haha true :)

[Joshua Lean]

Zero inhibitions. I like this.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[Emerald Seas]

Fierce. This made me smile as I understand that determination. Excellent voice of not taking any BS from anyone. Kudos!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Jack...]

I sense the anger of this piece, I can feel the fire raging inside and the desire to cast it out at he who scorns.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Well it has its point I guess. Thanks Jack :)

[Whiskurz]

Another Excellent piece....Bold and strong....Bravo my friend....Whisk

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)