The Day I Wasn't There

One more for my mum that I wrote a while ago.

As death caressed you

in it's bitter-sweet embrace

you reached for me

 

As the last of your breath

left you with a sigh

you searched for me

with desperate longing

wanting to say goodbye

needing one last kiss before you die

 

Were you filled with pain and sorrow

when you saw I wasn't there

Were your last thoughts on this earth

that your daughter didn't care

 

When your spirit left your body

your soul finally set free

did you cross the boundaries 

of life and death  

to try to contact me

 

Did you see when he told me

how I broke down and cried

how my world was shattered

on the tragic day you died

 

Did you see me at your funeral

did you come and hold my hand

did you whisper in my ear

that you forgive and understand

 

If I could cross dimensions

beyond all time and space

I would travel to the heavens

for the chance to see your face

For the chance to tell you

how much I love and care

and how much I regret

the day I wasn't there

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

This really hit home for me. I was 3,000 miles away from my mother when she passed away and I was unable to attend her funeral...BUT...I was with her the day before she died. I scheduled a trip home to see her, she was in the hospital, and I got to spend several days with her--days when she was even quite lucid--and the day after I landed back in Seattle, I got the phone call. It was as though she hung on just long enough for me to see her and, because she probably knew I would not be able to handle losing her, she waited for me to leave town before she slipped away. I don't regret not being able to fly right back and attend her funeral, because I got to tell her how much I loved her and she heard me...but of course she knew. So did your mother, I am certain. Thank you so much for sharing this with us...it touched me so deeply.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much, I'm not sure how I missed your review I wish I had seen it earlier. Thanks again and I'm sorry for your loss also.

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure; and thank you.

[Leigh]

I was on holiday when my Dad died and couldnt get back to see him off, but i think i had said my good-byes to him before. Your Mother wouldve known you loved her.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Jessie]

Honestly i'm struck speechless... Sorry for your loss first off :'(
This made me cry!!!
So much emotion... So beautiful and sad... Im not sure if its hard to post something like this... But thanks for sharing with us!!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much Jessie, I guess it takes courage because you don't know how it will be received and you are like putting your heart out on your sleeve so to speak. But I'm so happy you liked it so much.

[Jessie]

So true!!
Thank you for sharing it was amazing!

[Tate Morgan]

Beautifully written and I might say I love the emotion shown .it is not telling me how to feel But the journey makes me feel the same thing

[Carolann Dowsett]

That's great, thank you :)

[PadfootBlack]

This breaks my heart. You capture the emotion very well, and I think every reader had a specific person pop into their mind.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you.

[Overrated-World]

best wording, as always..
Love the piece. Its strong.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[AlchemicPlutonian]

I read this a couple hours ago, and neglected to review it; solely for the reason that I didn't have words at the moment.

I still don't.

I just hope you understand for what it's worth.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Yes, thank you so much.

[Inda]

Wow, this is really powerful and such bravery on your part for putting this into words. Thank you for posting this.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Clockwork]

My deepest condolences to you about the situation you faced. I had a similar situation with a loved one just a few years ago. I know the pain of the loss coupled with the fact that we were not able to be there is crippling. You show us the deep well of pain and the doubts that go along with this situation.

In some ways, I think that the intention of our love makes a different. The fact that we reach for our loved ones with our spirits has and impact I think.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you and yes love always makes a difference.

[Emerald Seas]

It is so very hard to lose a loved one and not have the opportunity to say goodbye. We are filled with the loss and sense of guilt for not having that final connection. This is a strong writing expressing that void.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you