I am Vulnerable Broken Strong and Fearless I am all things to all people Yet I belong to none I am Elusive Unknown A whisper of things to come I am a Warrior In an endless war Victorious Wounded Battle weary The scars of life remain visible on my soul I am soft and gentle Loving and kind Immovable Full of Light I am Passionate Longing Tactile and Sensitive I am Unbreakable Willful Determined I am a woman A little girl A spiritual being I am Pure Renewed Refreshed Laughter and Joy Tears and Sorrow I am Deep Intelligent Serious yet Fun I am Childish and Playful Brave A Lioness Fierce and Feisty I am Honest Direct Creative A Secret yet to be Revealed A Mystery ready to be solved
The meaning behind the poem is obvious enough, but it is the presentation of the poem which seems to take away some of the impact, in my opinion. While I love the raw emotion which went into this work, the singular stanza and the lack of commas to provide any true stressing points in the poem itself. This creates a mass of intellectual words being lost in the heap of other intellectual words making them mute. I feel like once you create either a designation with more stanzas or some semblance f a comma system for impact it will greatly improve your writing.
I disagree The purpose of a freewrite poem is to write it, not to worry so much about structure or m.. read moreI disagree The purpose of a freewrite poem is to write it, not to worry so much about structure or model, but to just pour out on paper. The style dont appeal to most that feel poems have to rhyme and everything has to be metered and stanza formed. Ignore this a poem is as good as its raw nature.
11 Years Ago
Thank you Jeff, that's good advice.
11 Years Ago
I never said the purpose of the poem was to be structured as this is entirely up to the writers disc.. read moreI never said the purpose of the poem was to be structured as this is entirely up to the writers discretion. I offered my opinion stating adding the previously stated things would make it more impacting.
A very good poem. We allow few people to know who we really are. We must create fake smiles and do what we must to survive. Sometime mystery is a good thing. I like the thoughts create by the outstanding poem.
Coyote
I am Vulnerable
Broken
Strong and Fearless
I am all things to all people
Yet I belong to none
I am Elusive
Unknown
A whisper of things to come
I am a Warrior
In an endless war
Victori.. more..