Insidious

He waits

like a snake in the grass

ready to strike

an insidious creature of the night

disguised as an angel of light

but I know

He smiles at me with a face full of lies

and I smile back

hidden

in my own disguise

secretly planning my escape

He is full of rage

I feel it permeating off his flesh

like an odorous poison 

in search of prey

Inwardly I shudder 

but on the outside 

I remain calm

accommodating

Silently

I tiptoe around the outskirts of his vision

Making my appearance only when needed

to pacify his jagged soul

He plays his part so well

at first I was fooled

but then the cracks started to appear

slivers of blackness 

started to ooze out of his soul

and I saw

clearly

without a doubt

the thing that lies within

I pray that it leaves him

releases him from its deadly snare

But does he want it to go

or is it his friend

I look at him with eyes 

that are hidden behind a broken smile

and he looks back

searching

waiting

like a snake in the grass

ready to strike

an insidious creature of the night

Reviews

[AK]

This poem is brilliant, Carolann! I love the way you repeated a part of the first stanza in the last stanza--it makes the reader feel like the poem, though has ended, has just begun (I don't know if that makes any sense to you:P).
I love the transition of emotions in the poem, first 'he' is your opponent and then, you wish that the devil leaves him, almost like you are his well wisher.
Moreover, the poem was extremely well written and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Hope to read more form you ~
AK

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much AK :)

[AK]

My utmost pleasure :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story in the poem. I like the way you led the reader with good description through interesting discussion and situations. I did like the ending a lot. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[Leigh]

The not so nice side of men is described well here and this creates vivid imagery of a dangerous night out. There are a lot of snakes about so it might be best not to go out after dark. Brilliantly presented and roled out

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much. :)

[Leigh]

welcome - keep writing I'm enjoying your stuff

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[Jack...]

Very dark and deep, this was nicely written and rings true in so many cases. Thank you for sharing.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[Night]

...oh man, I loved this dark write. This had an edgy feel to it...too real. you are without a doubt a great writer...superb, haunting...brings the reader right to the edge...leaving them wanting more...excellent ink.:)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much David :)

[Richard Man]

Don't let the unknown get you.
On a technical level silvers= slivers?
Backs=back.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you all fixed. It was about a particular person :)

[quinfinn]

deception is a dark creature, in this case an incubus...the chameleon, a mimic of all things natural, hiding beneath a thin veneer...like you say "a snake in the grass ready to strike"...when you hear that hiss it is too late, you have already been bitten. love your wording in this piece, so well penned!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much :)

[quinfinn]

love your writes!

[Tate Morgan]

This speaks of a man that i imagine you cant understand The question being How can anyone be so evil Well it has worked for him in the past and it is all he knows To him others are meant to be used.This is the role of the narcesist

[Carolann Dowsett]

Yes exactly and a very deceptive evil man he was.

[Jordan's Back]

This is Wonderful, at first I thought you were speaking of Satan Himself then towards the end it turned out to be a demon possessed person. Many of those in the world today, Sadly. this is another Terrific Elegant write.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :) And yes so many with this affliction though this one was particularly nasty because he pretended to be of the light but was really of the darkness.

[Matthew]

I think the format gives it great punctually. It's like the staccato of thoughts we experience when in panic or fear. in that sense this poem gets inside the readers head, it stops being letters on a page and becomes a smell, a picture, an unnerving mood. And that's what writing is all about. Bravo

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you that's awesome to hear that.