Another Hope That This Will Be The Last Poem I Will Ever Write about You...

So much was based on feelings

Which one of us has them

Which one of us has let them go

But love is not feelings

Love is actions

Love is giving

 

Here is what you and I have given, taken, and felt:

 

One.

I gave you blind trust

Naïve and unguarded

I was not braced for the unexpected that was you

 

Two.

I believed in you

I still do

My confidence in you is like riding a bike for the first time

Faltering and unsure

But I went with no training wheels

I went recklessly with no thought of the consequences

Just so the scars I earned could shape this story

 

Three.

I would have given so much to you

So much that I will write terrible poetry about it

So it does not have to stay in my mind

Taking my joy

Or filling me with false hope

 

Four.

You lied about your intentions

And followed that with endless excuses

Just as I would build hope up

And bring forth my courage

I would trip over your pride

Only to land on my self-esteem

Shattering it into the puzzle pieces of complexity

that make up how I feel about you

 

Five.

I can’t wait for you to get out of my life

For your temptation to leave me alone

To let me move on

To let me find someone who will finally make me forget about you

I hate you sometimes

 

Five

I can’t hate you.

I don’t want you to go.

 

Six

I want you to be happy.

If you don’t want me

If you will push me away

like the waves push against the shore

The please find someone who will give you more than me

Don’t take advantage of her

 

Seven

You still have the ability to make me stop breathing

The way a girl does on her first date

Her first kiss

I still get nervous when you walk into a room

The butterflies and all that crap

They still linger in not only our past

But also in my present

 

Seven.

They are so bad sometimes that I forget how to count

How to speak

How to let go.

 

Eight.

You have to ability to get stuck in my head.

You will continue to pierce my mind

Until I bleed all the broken reasons of why your deserve a second chance

Or was it a third?

Perhaps a fourth?

 

Nine.

You are looking for someone who knows you

Knows your flaws and accepts them

Forgives them.

Someone who will be slow and careful

Who could not harm you if I… I mean they…. tried

They would never want that

 

Ten.

Have you missed the neon sign that points to me?

The one person who accepts you for you

Who doesn’t care about your past.

But has more hope for your future than you do yourself.

 

Hello, my dear friend.

I’ve been here the whole time.

Reviews

[Bee C.]

Beautifully poignant. I love the imagery in this, so vivid, and so very sad. It's very honest. Simple, but so powerful. Simultaneously heartbreaking and romantic. I especially love this line: "I would trip over your pride/Only to land on my self-esteem", as well as the final lines. Your writing is very elegant and you ended the piece beautifully.