Because I can't stop

Because I can't stop

A Poem by Carl Drake Barnard

Moving like the speed of sound

I Cant seem to keep on the ground

cant stay in one place

I keep moving on to end my race

 

Because I cant stop time

I cant stop worrying in my mind

All these spaces I take cant defined

All my sorrows I try to leave behind

 

I cant stay the same

Nor stop to be tame

I Cant stop feeling this pain

coursing through my veins

 

Because I cant stop crying'

My body keeps trying

Forcing my self to keep lying

That you aren't dying

© 2014 Carl Drake Barnard


Author's Note

Carl Drake Barnard
Edit it a little still looks the same though hmm.... any ideas?

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Reviews

there are some things that we just cant accept and our bodies revolt against the trying. Well done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I'll be back for this ...you want it to rhyme right ?

Posted 10 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

10 Years Ago

Nope its not abt rhyming this piece has deepness hehe thanks though much appreciated
NeiL ArandA

10 Years Ago

I see ..its already good enough
You seem very impulsive and full of emotions! Its a great read.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

10 Years Ago

Hehe where did you read I was impulsive or see? hehe because I am hehe thank you for your great revi.. read more
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mia
Wow this is really good I love the words you used and it has a lot of feeling to it :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

10 Years Ago

Hehe thanks Mia :)
mia

10 Years Ago

Any time keep up the fabulous writing :)
THIS ONE WAS AMAZING!!!!
I loved the way it flows and the rhyming was great.
It really tells quite a story....
Its filled with heartache, sadness, pain and a deep deep love.
This was really touching i could feel the pain and emotion behind this poem :)
Great write :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

10 Years Ago

thank you for a Grait review :)
cimmy wuv xxxooo

10 Years Ago

your most welcome :)
You're such a positive person my dear friend, I appreciate that so much in you. There is only "carpe diem" the here and now, although the write is filled with sorrow and pain, you still try to enjoy the moment moments.... poignent, and real.... great ink, like my sister said here beneath too.

- Elisa

Posted 10 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

10 Years Ago

thanks for Grait support Hehe means a lot :)

10 Years Ago

Plesir ;) always!!!!
" Because I cant stop crying'
My body keeps trying
Forcing my self to keep lying
That you aren't dying"

I really love the rhythm! I could feel the pain in this piece. Great ink. :)


Posted 11 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

11 Years Ago

thank you :) for your kind review :)
The last bit was heartbreaking. Great write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

11 Years Ago

thank you :)
I like the last stanza most on this piece. My only comment is that some of the rhyme feels a little forced at some parts. Not for the fact that the rhyme doesn't work i just feel like you might have boxed yourself a bit with it. None the less it is good and it stays on point and gets what your trying to say out clearly.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

11 Years Ago

Yeah I noticed that just can't seem to force my self to edit it but thanks for your review :)

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Added on December 9, 2013
Last Updated on January 30, 2014

Author

Carl Drake Barnard
Carl Drake Barnard

South Africa



About
Hi,I am Carl. I'm a Chef and a writer. I am melancholy-Rage writer as the past have said. And I am like this in real life. I write what I know and stay true to feelings as I discover them in life. more..

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