Survive

Where you are 

I see,

the truth

inside

We'll

 take this 

second time

just to survive

Where 

I'll be

 you'll see

Leaving behind these lines

Shaded 

all your cares

very deep

so no one can find

A 

cause of life

shadows of hate

faded all our memories

I'll run

Before the end

fighting 

to survive

 

Author's Note

This is more hard new age :)

Reviews

[Robert Lindsay]

It's got a good rhythm .
The line 'Leaving behind this lines' may have a typo?
Some of the lines could give more clues about the meaning if you want others to grasp it more and relate to it. Otherwise it's good as a personal piece that means something to you. That's my 2 cents.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thanks,and you're right this is more personal but still really is readable

[Catlen]

Nice choice of words! Very powerful message! Good Work!

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you guys,really thought this was a bad poem but you make it sound good thanks for your reviews much appreciated

[Shane Mohamed]

Good piece of work. I get the message that the character is trying to persevere through some trifles and high waves. It's simple yet well executed. You wrote, "Leaving behind this lines," but you probably meant "these." Good job. Thanks for sharing.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you and yes(ashamed) thank you for telling :) will fix it asap:)

[Aehr]

I like this. It's short, but powerful :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :)

[Aehr]

anytime :D

[UnderCompulsion]

I like it. It has strong words, and it can have more meaning then just one. Very nice and interesting peace. :))

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Hehe Thanks :))

[Sarah Conder]

I like the disjointed nature of this poem, it's a very interesting piece :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you Sarah :)