Do I still love her??

The story of my past - written 2010

Last Febuary,I met a girl at school through sport.I got to know her and something changed in me.I really liked her. The entire time I had been with her,I had this sense of euphoria and happiness and a sensation I can only describe as "feeling at home."

...Unfortunately,things went downhill after I said something . . . 

Afterwards I did somethings I sort of regret and probably came off as stalkerish,when I went to lunch I would look around for her.I just wanted to see if she was okay. And when I did see her,I just breathed in as a sign of relief.But I didn't cross that line.i didnt call her,or stoped by her house,or followed her arround. I just looked for her at lunch,and maby glanced her way a bit more than socially acceptable,I realized what I was doing and I needed to back off. . . . . .

Since then,I had chances to be with somebody els,but I ultimately turned them down because when i am around them,all I could think about was this girl. I would be unfair to them if while i was in a relationship with them,but focusd on anouther girl.She is truly drop dead Gorgeous but i feel nauseous and guilty if I look at her in a "sexual" way.The bottom line is that,I just wanted her to be happy,even if its not with me...

Author's Note

I'm not going to edit I wrote this in 2010 and my feelings are still in their...