Emotional overload

The story of a girl consumed by her emotions.

The walls are closing in and the room becomes dark. I can feel myself loosing sight of everything I loved and everything that I have ever known. How do I escape this trap? How do I escape these feelings that are coming over me like a tidal wave. Oh, I can't seem to catch my breath. No, I can barely stand. The strength that I once had slowly begins to dissipate, it slowly begins to ooze out of my being like blood quickly escaping from a deep wound. This wound, this internal wound burns and aches. I yell but no one can hear me, no one can see me. How do I heal this wound? How do I conceal this wound? This wound has overpowered me and has gained control but it cannot be seen nor can it be felt or even imagined by anyone else other than myself. I cannot treat this wound as it is not physical. Is this all in my head, is this a figment of my own imagination? Worse yet is this wound in fact my creation? Self inflicted perhaps? This then obviously begs to question, if I should be the creator of this wound is it not possible that I should be able to destroy it? If the wound in itself is in fact just a mere extension of myself should I not have the ability to adjust it, mend it, perhaps change it completely? Wait, the oozing has slowly begun to subside. the pain begins to grow less. Am I dying? Is my being letting go of the world? Am I becoming numb because I am slowly falling? Will I finally be free, free from the chains of this life, free from the chains of this wound? Wait, this wound, perhaps I am over coming my wound? What am I thinking, what am I feeling? I become silent suddenly, my erratic thoughts slowly begin to subside. I can hear the sound of my own breath, inhale and exhale. I am calm and I am quiet, I am trying to rationalize my thoughts. I take one last deep breath. One hard, long, intense inhale... I open my eyes... I see light... I feel warmth... I, oh my, I feel! I feel something other than misery, other than hatred, other than anger. I stand. I stand on both feet. I pause, I breath again. I allow the light to consume me and the warmth bathe me. I succumb to my wound, I grant it the ability to have it's moment. Like all things in this world that which must live must also die so let it live in order lo let it die. I have finally mastered my wound. The abecedarian finally becomes the professional. I embrace my new found ability to survive my forever evolving and equally challenging existence. The walls slowly begin to retract and the light expands and floods every corner of the once dark room. I close my eyes and hold out my arms in an attempt to embrace the glory of the light and its mighty force. I open the door feeling elated and strong. I move forward, I am free and with that freedom comes the acknowledgement that I was merely trapped by own chains. I look back over my shoulder and give my dark room a dexterous nod. I know that we shall meet once again, but the next time that we do I am aware of what I am up against and I will be gracefully victorious.

Author's Note

I am trying to get the note across that we are the creators of our own misery and therefore the enablers of our emotions and feelings. Yes, others from our lives can influence and contribute to our problems however its is ultimately up to us whether this becomes part of who we are or merely just a tool to learn from and better ourselves. we are the masters of our own destiny and too many times we allow blame to consume us and therefore slowly begin to loose sight of the fact that the only ones to blame when we fall are ourselves. I'd love to know what you think of the above?

Reviews

[Silent Wolf]

Comments/ constructive criticism as I read: (Note, these are just suggestions and shouldn't be taken as anything more. :3)
~"Oh, I can't seem to catch my breath." It kind of draws away a bit from the beginning... My suggestion is to just take out the "Oh."
~"No, I can barely stand." I would try showing this through something like "My wobbly knees can barely even support their own weight." Or something similar.
~"...it slowly begins to ooze out of my being like blood quickly escaping from a deep wound." Take out the "it slowly begins to ooze" and replace with "oozing" to keep it one sentence. :) Also, take out the part after the word Blood and replace with "through a deep wound."
~"This then obviously begs to question, if I should be the creator of this wound is it not possible that I should be able to destroy it? If the wound in itself is in fact just a mere extension of myself should I not have the ability to adjust it, mend it, perhaps change it completely?" Kind of a sharp contrast to what's going on before it. Before, it was kind of like telling a story, and I feel like this is kind of going into something philosophical or something... Though that could just be me...
~"I can hear the sound of my own breath, inhale and exhale. I am calm and I am quiet, I am trying to rationalize my thoughts." I feel like this would be better shown. For example: "Inhale... Exhale... The thoughts in my head fall silent, a wave of relief washing over me. My breathing slows, my eyes close, and I begin to rationalize what's going on." This kind of continues a bit, but now as I look at it I feel like it's possible that it might have been on purpose...
~Just a few scattered grammatical errors, such as a wrong letter pressed (lo instead of to) but doesn't interrupt the reader too much. :)

Afterthought:
I really liked this piece. :) In your author's note, you kind of explain the philosophical part, which makes a bit more sense now, and I feel like this piece does in fact show that. Though, I feel like showing it a bit more during the transition of how the MC goes from dark and feeling nothing to light and feeling everything would be a nice place to make your point even clearer. Also, maybe splitting this up into several paragraphs would help, too... Other than that, keep it up! You are a really good writer, and I'd love to see more of your work. :) Keep it up!

I tried to organize this review... So yeah... Sorry if it looks a little weird...

[Cari]

Thank you SO much for taking the time to review my work as well as all your advice on being a member. Most of all thank you for your criticism, I would love to be able to improve on my writing and your honesty and all your notes mean a lot to me. This must have taken you some time so I am so truly grateful that you put that time into review and commenting on my work. I rally cant thank you enough. I will work on it and Ill let you know when it is done. i would love your opinion on it once adjusted.

[Silent Wolf]

Of course! And you're welcome. I will definitely read it once it's adjusted, just send me a message and I'll do it. :)