Sunlit Star

For you...the only one who holds my heart...

Your starlit gaze has kept me here, I’m a captive
Of your eyes so like the fragile leaves of autumn, those auburn spheres.

Your voice is calling, luring me towards you.
Like a siren’s melody. The words you sing are haunting, perfect agony…

I try to look away but you have frozen me like icicles.
I am now trapped inside, lost inside
Like a captive wolf in summer. Destitute, in shame, I call you longingly.

I am lost and blind. I have stumbled and I have fallen on my knees. Sunlit Star
Please help me, guide my way.
Light my path oh Sunlit Star.

Loneliness presides over my once broken heart.
Burn away my deep pain with your scorching flame and save me.
I’m strengthened now that you are here, a new life giving light
Sometime later, in this night, for you I call…

I am lost and blind. I have stumbled and I have fallen on my knees. Sunlit Star
Please help me, guide my way.
Light my path oh Sunlit Star.

I am a shadow and you are the dawn, for so long I’ve been lost,
In the abyss of doubt, yes I know.
I can’t break these chains of mine without you, Sunlit Star, set me free,
Let me spread my wings above these pains of sorrow…

This darkened night has slowly found me, misery and pain.
Thank you, oh Sunlit Star, you gave to me hope…my shadow slowly fades away,
Blackened wings from night to day.
Where’s the angel that I was, is he gone now…

I am lost and blind. I have stumbled and I have fallen on my knees. Sunlit Star
Please help me, guide my way.
Light my path oh Sunlit Star.

I am lost and blind. I have stumbled and I have fallen on my knees. Sunlit Star
Please help me, guide my way.
Light my path oh Sunlight….

Author's Note

The first poem I ever wrote for her.

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

This had me smiling, and it does feel like a new- found love, one that saves from lonliness, rescued from a past broken heart. Utterly romantic, it almost feels like a song...

[Caradoc]

It is a song. Every piece in this book is meant to be sung, and I have, at one time or another, sung most of them to the object of my affections. :)

I'm glad you liked this one. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.

[Horizon K.]

Ha! I knew it! The further I got, the more I felt like singing it. Very sweet:)

[Caradoc]

Again, thanks. :)

[Pax]

my Cheesiness brought me here ~ LOL, but seriously - your the romantic of the classic literature... and i was reading all the comments below and i found out that you have sung this to the special someone of yours ~ see!!!!!!!!! you have musical talents in you... you must have made a music video on this one ;)... but then again if it's too personal... then that special someone is your muse in this piece!

truly a star!

[Caradoc]

Indeed she is. No music video. I wouldn't know how, lol.

Thanks for the awesome read and review, my friend. :)

[Pax]

welcome.... making a film is hard... so let's leave that to the experts...:D

[Katie]

This poem as a whole is beautiful, but my favorite parts have to be

"Your starlit gaze has kept me here, I’m a captive
Of your eyes so like the fragile leaves of autumn, those auburn spheres.

Your voice is calling, luring me towards you.
Like a siren’s melody. The words you sing are haunting, perfect agony…

I try to look away but you have frozen me like icicles.
I am now trapped inside, lost inside
Like a captive wolf in summer. Destitute, in shame, I call you longingly."

The way you so perfectly executed the application of these ideas and meanings to your feelings for her is brilliant. These lines set different moods as well: eerie with the siren's song but needy and vulnerable like the imprisoned wolf. I also like how you positioned frozen icicles next to the wolf in the summer - two contrasting seasons or temperatures - and you somehow nicely blended the opposing ideas into one sensible feeling.

This was fantastic, and like the others have said, she better know how very lucky she is to be the subject of such a beautiful work.

[Lydia]

Very interesting. Nice job!

[Mia]

Please don’t be mad!! You know I think you are awesome (because you are). It’s beautiful because of the idea behind it and the love that is clearly evident in this poem. It just doesn’t rank in the top of your work. Granted, your top is of a far higher standard than most. I feel like I just swore at you :( but I don't mean it like that!

[Tai Ryens]

Sorrow resonates through every word of this poem, that much is known already; what I really love is the mysterious essence to this. Yes, we know you chased after this star for reasons unknown, yet we know nothing of the result. I could ponder this for hours and still have none a clue to indicate where, or even why, your character chased this star. Lovingly written, I could feel it through every linguistic here.

You were called by true love. I guess.
Such a brilliant poem my friend, full of amazing lines.
I'm subscribing to you, to read soon more, and review soon better.

E.L.

[Legolas]

Wow. That was amazing. I hope she loved it. She is very lucky to have you. I read what the other reviewers wrote and it's true, you are Romeo. I loved this. It drips with emotion and love for her.

[Caradoc]

Thank you. I gave her the original copy of this and sang it to her. She loved it.

[Legolas]

That must have been so nice.

[Caradoc]

I enjoyed it. I'll always remember that night.

[Legolas]

As I'm sure she will.

[Mauricio Montoya]

The first are always the best.
Excellent write.

[~Artemis~]

First poem? wow. Wish I could say that. The beginning gave me chills-it was exquisite. I felt like it wasn't as good later on, still good, just not as.
Beuatiful word choice, nice flow, great job!