Unnamed

I took a walk along the shore
Years ago amidst the glow
Of a time when tear drops sang
A symphony of grief and pain
'Twas my own that I knew then
An ache of love and misplaced need
Bitter nights and starless days
Screaming heart and voices, quiet
Void of all the things I could not speak
Broken rhymes still lacking reason
A saddened sound I dared not name

In all the days gone since that spell
I yearned to bleed on something new
And not the knife within my soul
To shatter the glass but one last time
Gain freedom from my boundless cage
A house of blood and gilded sand

Yet here am I, fool, once again
Lost inside a poor boy's dreams
Smiling at faces I will never see
Leering back and taunting
They mock me as I fade
Consumed by shameful desire
Sleeping arms that reach out to hold
Though the midnight knows I'll never fill
Only another kind of Hell to feel

Mere moments more, how can I bear
To linger on until the last
A drop of darkness kissed by light
Longing lips, still moistened, damp
Always waiting to be touched
But knowing destiny cannot be changed

Doomed to wander, slipping, gone
Cursed for something, never mine
A flickering fire that just won't die
A need to rhyme that can't be done
Haunting eyes beneath the moon
This bitter soul that torments my heart
Starving for things I can never have...

And...              

...you...

A void within myself
That I can't change
A pain inside
That's still...

                                   ...Unnamed...

Author's Note

As the poem says...a pain inside I do not know, something which I cannot name...I tried to express it...somehow...

Reviews

[quinfinn]

"bitter nights and starless day" really resonates with me. this entire piece is a work of art, a masterful painting of desire and self doubt. i wonder how many of us have been down this path and could articulate it as well as do you. this is incredibly good!

[Caradoc]

Thank you for your kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

For me, this was highly cathartic to compose. The emotions I felt when writing it were almost completely absent when I had finished. Fuel for my work, as it has ever been.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Your expression was quite eloquent. I enjoyed this very *heavy* write; it is ladden with so much emotion and depth. You have delved into yourself very deeply here, and I just feel as though you have taken raw and pure emotion and poured it out on the page. Still, there was skill here, and a technical hand which made things nice to read.

Only suggestion...this is one, long, daunting stanza. I wonder if perhaps you could split the large stanza into two or perhaps three, as there seems natural places where this could occur. It would make the reading more fuild in my opinion. Overall, though, quite nice.

[Caradoc]

Thank you for your kind review. Pouring my emotion onto the page was indeed my aim. This was meant to be cleansing. I simply felt the need to vent. I am glad I was able to do it in a way that others noticed.

As for the length, my original intent was to break it apart at certain points, but in the moment, I said; "What the hell", and kept on writing a continuous stream of thought. I have gone back and altered it somewhat, as in my opinion, the original formatting was somewhat ugly. I still kind of is so...maybe I'll change it again.

Again, thanks.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

See, that breaking apart made the entire piece "read" so much better. It's not just the "look" of it, but rather how it feels when it is being read. Long stanzas tend to get a little daunting in that they force the reader to continue without breath; this is much better. Well done!!!!