Silence (Reprise)

I've stood here before

Smothered, crowded
 Mocked, goaded

The mirrors surround

Laughing, oh that sound

Razor light agony

  They're all here
The voices, the misery

Yet she's no where to be found

I love her

How am I still alone

Wishes from days gone by

Trample me, they lie

   Invisible

But what of the world?
  The one that crowds and suffocates me

How shall I continue?

When I've finally found

That elusive

Different

Point of view

What do I have to lose?

   I’ve already lost

The game

I've murdered
My Muse


  Should I make this
The Last?
    The beginning of my end

One final written word

  An echoing mark

Of Poetry

There is no avenue

No escape

No beckoning door agape

Only sadness
Sorrow

So, my readers

You loving few

The Omega has come to pass
No more shall I vent my violence

The evil in my soul

     I hold my pen

My tongue

      Silence......

Author's Note

A rewrite of a poem I wrote in high school. Interesting how everything is a cycle of repetition within our lives, how it ripples out and causes history to repeat itself.

Reviews

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Oh wow...this is pure chaos, I adore it! AND looky here another piece with the dreaded silence...do we have a theme tonight? Still this is pure brilliance, the manic feel as you jump back and forth through the poem leading you down into the pit of sorrow. The depth of emotion spilt here, even from the past..yet feels fresh somehow. Very effective write...oh and If you ever held your voice, your pen in silence ... well lets just say that would be the real precursor to bad things happening.

[Caradoc]

Thanks for the wonderful review, K. :)

My own state of being unable to write, coupled with that poem of yours that I read; I had to feature this one. So yes, I think we may have theme going on tonight. lol And you are correct...the emotion, though from the past, it feels fresh to me all of a sudden. Not sure what sparked it.

Again, thanks for stopping by. :)

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Always a pleasure Cara...you know that... :)

[Belle]

The form itself speaks the condition or the state of mind of the poetic persona: restive, unsettled, in distress. There is a very strong call (an another call) to write, but he found himself not willing to express his artistic temperament. He is crowded, suffocated even agitated by the powerful inner voices (dark voices), miseries that are hankering to get out yet he shut the door for their escape.

Very impressive it is! You have found a perfect form for your subject. There was an interactive system between your content and the form, like of a satin dress that fits like a second skin to the body. The irregular spacing or the gaps each line that you have created did not only attract my eyes as your reader, but it established the tone of the speaker and/or the condition of the person in the poem. I transferred your words into a piece of paper for me to understand the content. I’ve written it in a common type of stanza, I must say when I was reading it from the paper, the tone and the mood created in me was totally different to the voice’s tone and the tension I felt when I was reading the piece through my screen. The piece was more and more powerful in a chaotic form.

I am glad that you found this for me. I enjoyed this very much. The search was worth it! I’ll be reading more from you, as what have been said I love your Beckon Me Still.

[Caradoc]

Thank you very much for your review. I'm glad I was able to point you in the right direction. I was certain I had author's notes on this stating that this was a revision of an old poem...but I guess not. Indeed though it is. I think at some point, possibly soon, I will post the original, so that you may see the difference.

But yes, as you say, the standard forms, where each line is orderly and connected...do not serve this piece as well as the chaotic form.

So glad you enjoyed it.

-Caradoc

[Pax]

oh ~ how elusive and how you just wanted to end your muse ~ "The beginning of my end" ~ awesome line from a well verse poetry ~ this reminds me when i can't write much of anything ~ Excellent as always :)

[Caradoc]

Although this poem was inspired from something that was not quite a desire to end my muse, I do like your point of view on it. You illustrate what I like best about art. That a thousand people can look at the same picture, read the same poem, and get something entirely different out of it.

It's quite beautiful.

Thank you.

[Pax]

your welcome in all my friend ~ i guess - i always goes in a different direction :D ~

[Caradoc]

And the directions you go in show us things we might not otherwise have seen. In my mind that is a very good thing.

[Grey]

Whoa, this is fantastic. In all it's complexity it flows and offers a straight message with beautifully written rhyme and verse. Excellent.

[Art Sun]

nice work Carodoc...even though the structure of the poem is erratic which kind of makes one go back and read the poem several times...it has several points of view that one can find if they take time to read through it slowly...a nice work of poetic expression...

[Heather]

I LOVED how you had this structured, how you made my eyes move from one side to the next. I felt it really gave the poem a substance. Such a sad poem but I love it! The last lines are so profound to me. Great way to draw my eye!

[Caradoc]

Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed this piece so much. Its origins are from my days in high school and its first incarnation was me simply venting about being ignored by someone I thought I loved. Years later I've revisited it, altered it, changed it, to be more of the me that is now. It's new purpose, though similar, was to make sense of something I had recently experienced.

The formatting though, I borrowed it from another writer, though I do not remember who. The chaos inherent in it appealed to what I felt, so after writing it, I reformatted it.

Thank you for stopping by and reading.

Have a good one.

-Caradoc

[RachelReaper]

reminds me of a madman being tortured to death. Which means.... good work!

[Caradoc]

Interesting. I always like reviews that are different than simple platitudes. I write to express myself, my knowledge, my thoughts and my ideas. I post them to know what other people see what I show them what I've seen.

Thank you.

[Tai Ryens]

Structure wise, though I tend to shade away disheveled pieces as so, I believe that it played to your benefit here. To me at least, it relates to an insomniac's mind-state, how the poor soul would lie awake for hours at a time, contemplating everything yet comprehending nothing. Well done.

[Caradoc]

Thank you. This is in fact the first piece I have formatted this way. My original intention was to have it centered, drawing the reader's eye downward like a waterfall. But this seems more effective for the piece, causing the eye to tumble and crash, stopping dead at the conclusion.

Thank you for your read and review.

[Dewella~Vintella]

I am not really sure I like the way these lines come into play, Cara. It strikes to close to s sadness of mine. And yet, how could I dislike any written, spoken word from the mind of an alike that I find oh so interesting. Nah, I dont think I could every really not love something that comes from your mind.

[Caradoc]

What about it makes you not like it so much? What sadness do you speak of?