Refrain

A poem about powerful feelings and the confusion and anguish they sometimes cause.

How, could this dream return to me?
From the past, that old cliche.
Why, oh my Dark Night Fantasy,
Must your face come haunt me so?

Thoughts, echoes lost from long ago,
Maybe I'll destroy them all...

Why won't you leave me be?
I can't contain this shame.
Of memories buried dark,
And deep...
Can't stop this wicked rhyme,
This song inside my head that screams...
Refrain...

God, knows that I would never stray.
I'm committed to this road.
Still, feelings deign to linger on.
They burn, and howl, living misery.

Thoughts, feelings haunting, let me go,
Maybe now I'll kill them all...

Why won't you leave me be?
I can't contain this shame.
Of memories buried dark,
And deep...
Can't stop this wicked rhyme,
This song inside my head that screams...
Refrain...

She is that Dark Night Fantasy,
The curse in my head.
She is betrayal in my heart.
My only regret...

How, could this nightmare come back now,
From the past, what did I miss?
Why, can't I rid myself of you?
When I have something divine?

Thoughts, draped in crimson, here to stay.

So why, won't you leave me be?
I can't contain this shame.
Of memories buried dark,
And deep...
Can't stop this wicked rhyme,
This song inside my head that screams...
Refrain...

Author's Note

Does the wicked rhyme scream inside your head too?

Reviews

[Dewella~Vintella]

Ah, I have goosebumps. XD Its unreal how much you can convey through simple words. And yet its haunting just the same to think of such a thing, this, Dark Night Fantasy; Something dark and sinful, even more to be ashamed of; and yet there something there, some urge to reach out and touch it, even if it does mean the devil. The line

"She is that Dark Night Fantasy,
The curse in my head.
She is betrayal in my heart.
My only regret..."

Really gives insight to the underlying feels that are there. 'She is betrayal in my heart, My only regret.' My favorite lines.

Its almost a Catch 22 situation; Damned if you do, because its considered a personal taboo, but damned if you dont because it will become a regret later on.

Ahh, even thinking about it sucks ina delicious way, you know?

[Caradoc]

You have no idea. Seriously. This poem and the kinda sorta series it is a continuation from is probably the most taboo thing in my entire life. I know Sapphire is gonna come on here and read this too. So I'll have some 'splainin to do. However, it was all because of a dream.

I just don't know if the person it's about has read it or knows it's about them. That's the worrisome part. It would make things very awkward, worse than when I first started writing about the situation.

Yea. That stanza is the highlight of the song, which this can be sung. It's one of my guilty pleasure, writing poetry intended to be sung, especially where this is concerned.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

[Dewella~Vintella]

Would said person even know it was about them if they read it? And thanks for going and striking my curiosity ablaze with this; But honestly, I know how you feel. I have myself a similar situation, and I am sure many others do as well. Us writers though, we have too much imagination than is good for us, and tends to get us in trouble. :P

[Caradoc]

Possibly. I talked to them today and they visited my page, reading some of my stuff. They still remember some of the old poetry I wrote for them. I just don't know if they remember some stuff.

You're not lying there. An active, vivid imagination can one into so much trouble. You gotta remind yourself that you only imagine, maybe even look a little. It's the touching that's bad.

[Dewella~Vintella]

Well I dont have to worry about the touching part, not unless I could afford a plane ticket and had an address lol. So I am lucky there; I mean, I know I have an overactive imagination, so does everyone else, and I accept that, lol. Life would be boring without it. It does get me into trouble at times though :P

[AprilRN1210]

well, this definitely speaks of confusion.. the use of repetition throughout drove that point home for sure.. You kind of confused me somewhere in there too.. had to reread a few times to get the emotion that I wanted out of there.. It was playing with my head I guess.. sometimes I do think too much.. it seems like the person in this poem is too, but they are letting memories, distant emotions plague as well.. you get the feeling that they are being tempted, tormented, teased, by something that they can't have while they have something awesome already, it just pales in comparison in the fantasy that they have in their mind.. Problem with that is that it is hardly ever the case.. the fantasy is always better than the reality and if you get the chance to face that fantasy again.. it isn't all that it is cracked up to be in your head.. funny thing our imagination.. it can be awesome, but it can cause so much anguish and needless despair.. Those ghosts of past come to haunt the empty walls in your mind and stir those dark demons in your heart... Never a fun place to be when that happens, my friend.. I have had this happen many a time, especially in the dark of night.. you wish for just one moment of peace from the noise of these annoying nuisances.. You question what they want, why they are there, how can you rid yourself of their presence.. just wanting to be left alone to enjoy what you have before it too gets ruined.. very powerful write..

[Caradoc]

Indeed. Thanks for the read and the long review. :)

Alas, the awesome I had when I wrote this is long gone, never to be found again. Still...as much as I would like some ghosts to cease their haunting, I find that I can draw on them for inspiration in my writing. So there I find myself perpetuating the cycle. I'm pretty sure it isn't good for my mental health, but I figure, what the hell, I'm dying every second of every day anyway, why let it bother me anymore? It is what it is.

[AprilRN1210]

yea, you know me I get long-winded, sorry.. well, you will find that while they do make for awesome inspiration, so does happiness, believe it or not.. I have written from both sides of the coin if for only brief moments of time.. That is exactly why I stay frozen behind my walls.. I wish I knew the answer.. if you find out let me know.. my heart and mental health could use a little help these days:)

[Caradoc]

You? Long winded? If that's so, I think I'm pot and you're kettle. lol Happiness does inspire...I had some genuine happy love poetry on the site for a while, but yea...reading them now hurts too much. Whoever said that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...I would like to shoot him in the knee. Losing love sucks and I would much rather have been ignorant of what it was like to know it.

But...I think my cynicism and jaded heart are peaking through, so I'll stop. If I do find the answer though, I'll let you know. :)

[AprilRN1210]

ha... shoot em I say.. go ahead.. "they" aren't always right.. I say, sometimes ignorance IS bliss.. most definitely..

well, then I am the black kettle.. I don't leave long reviews for everyone, but when something speaks to me or stimulates me then I will share.. until someone finally says, hey that's enough!...

yes, I look back on some of my pieces and can't stand the sugary sweetness, or the pain contained within.. some days it is a comfort as well..

hey, I am a nurse, of course I am jaded.. no need to stop on my account.. you do that my friend.. you do that.. asked a few of my own questions earlier tonight in my newest piece.. tough stuff facing those demons inside.. for sure..

[Caradoc]

All I can say is; yup.

[Aino A Järvinen]

Perhaps my favourite of your work. With every line I share empathy. I'd love to hear it put to music, transcended into song. Brilliant.

[Caradoc]

Sadly, I am only a poet. The art of voice escapes me. I do thank you though, for the sentiment.

[Cyndi Goodgame]

I love dark...I love deep! And sadly, I love anguish! I also keep house with irony in everything I say and do.

Action packed and leaving me torn with wanting to ease his pain.

I reread some of my favorite Poe poems this weekend. This is very worthy of my Poe fascinations. Kudos!

[Caradoc]

I too am a fan of Poe. That you would compare this piece to his work in a favorable light is a great compliment. I thank you.

As to consoling the narrator; I already have someone to ease my pain, but thank you.

Have a good one.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Wretched skeletons...Excellently executed!

[Caradoc]

Indeed. Thank you.

[Pax]

wow ~ again you amaze me my friend ~ i feel like I am singing this in a screaming voice in a hardcore tone but in a much controlled voice ~ though its just in my head ~ singing is just not well verse with me :p ~ seems like the past keeps haunting your deepest fantasy ~ it's like it's the most sweetest wine, but has an awful side effects ~ you should sing this my friend ~ intense and emotional as well, awesome!

[Caradoc]

Haha. The funny thing is, I have sung this. Many times, different versions of it too. Multiple poems I have written, all about the same torment. I really don't know what else to do other than to pretend I don't suffer...of course in the back of my mind I know denial will gain me nothing...

Thanks for the read and the review my friend.

[Pax]

smiling ~ lol ~ a song in different version, i like that ~ :D ~ denial will gain nothing but smiling anyways will lift any mood... A pleasure to read your verses my friend...

[Caradoc]

An even greater pleasure to have my verses read. Be well, my friend.

[Rob Santana]

She is that dark night fantasy, love that line. I've had a few dark night fantasies myself. Very creative write.

[Caradoc]

Thank you for your kind words.

[Heather]

a mind plagued with the memory of her love. I love how dark this poem is, it fills my tongue with think dark words and images. I enjoyed this, just beautifully done

[Caradoc]

Oh but it wasn't true or meant to be. It was merely a dream from long ago, a Dark Night Fantasy.
read moreOh but it wasn't true or meant to be. It was merely a dream from long ago, a Dark Night Fantasy.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. So glad you enjoyed it.

-Caradoc

[Muse]

I can hear the screams loud and clear. But it's not just a wicked dark rhyme...

I can't contain this shame.
Of memories buried dark,
And deep...
Can't stop this wicked rhyme,
This song inside my head that screams...
Refrain...


It's funny how certain people...regrets...wishes...fantasies..plague your mind like a beautiful nightmare. It's not all bad, to wallow in self pity and dream in the moment. But sometime you need to slap yourself awake, pen and recite a new chapter. All this.... to get the old voices out.

Think of it as a personal baptism...so that a new insanity may find you....

[Caradoc]

A new insanity, yes. I tend to use everything I have to write my poetry. It's very cathartic.

Thanks for stopping by with a read and review.

[Mia]

This is exactly the reason why I’m scared to death of being someone’s second or third or fourth or any other number except for their first love. If you don’t end up with your first love, you’ll never love anyone else as much. You can’t possibly; you’re fearless with them because you don’t know heartbreak. After the first heartbreak walls start coming up that don’t allow you to ever love or be loved that way again. Their always there in your mind, feeding off the what ifs and the desire. It doesn’t mean you don’t love the person you’re with and can’t enjoy a wonderful life with them. It just means that in the smallest, darkest place at the back of your mind for split seconds at a time you feel like you have settled for second best. I and I couldn’t bare being with someone whose dreaming of someone else.

Oh my goodness! OH MY GOODNESS! This is just too wonderful! WOW! I’m at a loss of words…I just don’t know how to tell you how amazing this poem is!

Commenting on the previous review/ review comments if I may. I don’t think it’s possibly to separate you and your life from writing. It’s always going to find a way into it no matter how hard you try to stop yourself. The people in your life get used to it. I always tell my brother that he’s ultimately in control of what I write about him. If he doesn’t like what I write maybe he should change how he is, how we are. It’s not so simple with romantic relationships though. But the thought of you not writing this to spare someone’s feelings…just seems like a sin!

Never ask for permission rather ask for forgiveness when it comes to your writing!

[Caradoc]

I'm glad you liked it, lol. Thanks for the read and the nice long review. I seldom get those. As for the whys behind this piece, I've taken some big steps towards resolving the issue.

[Mia]

Good luck with that. I hope it all works out!

[Caradoc]

Thank you.