Beginnings

I wrote this for my Universities first creative-writing Anthology. So my name is in a published book, could not be happier.

In the beginning, there was nothing. Literally, virtually, gradually, nothing. For a long time, there was nothing but Nothingness. In fact, Nothingness had such a great time not having to deal with anyone’s problems that it could not have been happier.

But in order to be happy, Nothingness was forced to create something to feel anything. Therefore, Nothingness came up with the idea of particles. Twenty-some attoseconds later the first thing which was not Nothingness itself came to be, which we might call Matter. What a happy time for everything in and before being, happiness entered Everything and Nothingness. In fact, Matter’s full name is Matter Any Thing Everything the First. Matter for us and Any for friends.

But as we know every force has a counterforce, that’s what Physics says at least. He has always been a preachy fellow, but he holds things together, like a caring mother, and stops us from drifting into parts of the Universe that would be lethal to us. He is a softy at the core. But this story is not about Physics, after all, let us, therefore, return to what I originally wanted to say: Nothingness’ happiness and the creation of matter weren’t unnoticed. Somewhere deep in the future, this happiness stirred someone into action.

It has been a universal law for aeons now that there is no good or bad, no hero no villain, not even different agendas, with only one dreadful exception. A grand fiend to creation and all that lives. Foes so countless in number and so cruel in their doings that only one sentient species in the entire complexity of the Universe was bold enough to name them. You won’t have any problems with finding that one race of beings that seems to always be exceptionally bold or stupid.

The Hornpeople of Alpha Centauri B, no another guess, although they are quite stupid in comparison to the Megahornpeople of Alpha Centauri A. But search your soul and think about the most stupid creature in existence. Did you say the Sperularks of Beeeight, the only sentient beings without functioning brains or even neural networks of any kind? I’m sorry but no. It’s us. Humans. We are the very one. We even believe to be alone in the Universe and that our Earth is flat. Even the Hornpeople know this is bollocks.

But enough with the name-calling and guessing, please let silence settle once more and I can continue this story of utmost importance. Now, the great fiend of creation itself and arch nemesis to Nothingness, that only humans dared to name: chickens.

We even eat them, yes, but hear me out, just a second it will make sense. After days of happiness and sexual experimentation that Nothingness and Matter shared, something peculiar happened. A single, somehow alive, brownish coloured chicken plopped into existence. It was confused, I have to admit, but then it did what every chicken does best, it started pecking at everything in its reach. And because Matter was the only Anything to exist and there was no time or space to part chicken with Matter it just happened that this brownish avian creature ate what should have become our Universe.

But that’s not all. The chicken seemed to dislike the taste of Matter. It gurgled, hooted, which can only be accounted here as a possible sound the chicken tried to produce, but without air, there was no medium that sound could travel through. Not even Death was roaming through Nothingness which would have fathered our Universe, so the chicken could not die. He only entered it when the first skateboard was invented somewhere in the outer end of the Know. And when a chicken wants to die but can’t, it is a universal law that it produces an egg.  

This egg, however, was something and therefore it was Matter, just different. Changed. The egg had made Matter into Life and Life together with Nothingness made the Universe out of the remains of the chicken that they decided to kill because it had eaten Matter just moments ago. Now every speck of light that you see on the night’s sky is an angry thought of a chicken somewhere in the Universe, seeking vengeance for the one chicken that had to die in order for us all to live.

And you see, that not only explains our beginnings and how Life came to be but also answers the question: What came first the chicken or the egg.

Author's Note

This is the 'raw' first version of the story. So, if there are some punctuation mistakes or the spelling is a bit off, please, don't let yourself be distracted by that.