Reaching for the Stars

This world is open to being heaven but only if you'll let it. For it to do so you must first stretch your arms to their full length. You have to gaze up at the sky with eyes clouded by love for its beauty. Feel as if you can reach out, skimming your fingers along lakes, brushing your arm across the tops of trees and plucking the stars from the sky, gravity acting in the only way it knows how; bringing you and the stars you grasp back down to earth. You're not so easy to uproot, you're tied to this place as you know that it is the only world in which you exist. It's tangible, real and it will envelope you in its dream inducing presence. That coffee stained sweater, your messy jeans, the pen with which you write with and the hand that grips it itself. It's a worn hand, chiselled out by the tools of time, elongated and strengthened for purpose. Trained to correspond with the scene colourfully depicted by your eyes, eyes curtained by soft wisps of hair and lashes, eyes brightened by the light that surrounds them. And as droplets of water fall from the heavens right before your eyes, you bare witness to the reflection each one creates as they are carried towards the ground. You can feel them smiling at you, whispering silent sweetness and weeping gallantly. You don't want time to keep rolling, you want to die that very moment, free from worry, fear and regret.

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

Beautiful, calm, peaceful, joyful, accepting.................. and just brilliant. I loved every line of this Captain. I felt that it came directly from a happy heart and flowed gently into this fantastic piece of writing. Thanks for sharing this with us. May we see many more like it in the future.

"eyes curtained by soft wisps of hair and lashes, eyes brightened by the light that surrounds them." - Absolutely loved that part. Gorgeously descriptive. :)

Keep smiling :)

[Captain Rilen]

Thanks for the review Andronicus! Glad you liked it!

[Moody]

Incredibly soothing to read. I felt like I was laying on a grass field. It really made me look back and thing about how splendid the stars, the world, the universe are.
I loved ied, Captain.

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice tale and hopeful read. To see and know heaven. A perfect place to know. I liked the thoughts and the hopeful feel of the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Taylor]

I read this in response to a request from Andronicus. It's the first piece of yours I've read. The message is profound, a macro and micro view of a life filled with vibrant living. Important and life sustaining perspective. My only critique in terms of the technical is that the construction of the final sentence seemed awkward to me; This is well done. I'm glad Andronicus directed me to it.

[Captain Rilen]

Thanks for stopping by and reviewing it for me. I think I'll give it another look (i had similar thoughts about the ending, it was kind of crudely thrown together as I wasn't sure how to end it) and try to come up with something that has a bit more flow. Glad you enjoyed it and I'm very appreciative for the feedback.

[Taylor]

Well, I'm sitting here chuckling and somewhat comforted. I often run out of inspiration about how to end a story and the one I have featured on Writerscafe right now has the same problem -- yours at least has the blessing of being brief! As Woody advised me, I'm just letting it simmer right now until an ending comes to me. My hope is that comes before the turn of the century.

[unspokenpain]

Well versed. Short but to the point and very deep meaning. Good job.

[Captain Rilen]

Thanks for the review, love your profile picture by the way. I'm a massive fan of "Your lie in April", I even had the anime in mind when I was writing this. "All the scenery around me began to take on colour".

[unspokenpain]

It's a very poetic and emotional story. Thank you

[Usman Muhammad]

The message of this story was very deep. I see myself in this writing, in fact every writer observes such moments and considers the beauty he is watching as a gift only for him and sees his own reflection in this story.
I really liked your writing style. Beautiful flow and good use of words.
I admire your writing and if you like, please read my story "A Cantankerous Writer", after reading the story( if you read) you will totally understand why i am suggesting you that to read.
Overall: I really liked the theme of the story and believe that you wrote them in influence of emotions, emotions which haunt you to write against your will.
Regards
Usman

[Captain Rilen]

Thanks for the review Usman, happy to read yours too (in fact I already have, I just need to write a review). I definitely think we share quite a few ideas and thoughts about the world and I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece.

[Shannon]

I enjoy the rain so this speaks to me: "bare witness to the reflection each one creates as they are carried towards the ground". I can feel it! Excellent.

[Captain Rilen]

Rain is beautiful! It gives the world a bit of a dull tone, but at the same time the reflection of the water is everywhere and it makes things so pretty. Glad you felt it, I tried to capture exactly what I felt (it was inspired by a trip I had skating through the rain) as I felt incredibly happy at the time I wrote this.