The Subconcious

Black forge of that which has no name,

Please  go the f**k away!

Go back to the hell from whence you came...

You f*****g liquid knock off!

 

It brings back the worry,

The terrifying memories.

Not to mention,

Its love for the amenities.

 

Why did I do this?

So I can f*****g sleep?

So I'm intoxicated so Deep?

So I no longer weep?

 

My mind a punching bag,

For all that is real.

You are you,

And all you do is you feel.

 

Why am I here,

What can I do?

Why do I do what I do?

What is it that I fear?

 

My desk has so many ripples,

Those can be seen so clear.

Each a different shade of fear,

Transcending all that I hold dear.

 

A mind working incorrectly,

A fuckup to be clear.

It needs to leave promptly,

This year from here.

 

It acts like it's so sincere,

A falsity in a coincidence so mere.

Let me sear,

My own soul if it does hear...

 

 Let me be free!

These chains too,

Be free.

I want to be me,

But who that is isn't clear.

 

It never is,

I'm stuck in this prison,

All I can feel is despair.

 

This can't be right,

It can't be human.

I fight with all my might!

Just to feel ,

Anything that may seem real...

 

No wonder I can't cure my heart,

For it is nowhere near.

It's buried deeper than the ocean,

 Deeper than one can hear...

 

Why have I no faith in our kind?

I think it may be imbedded in my mind,

That all we are is the opposite of kind.

 

Rhyming kind with kind,

Guess I'm losing my mind...

That isn't pretty,

Not what I came here to find.

 

For you see I am blind,

But a shepherd with no eyes.

But he continues to try,

Oh he tries and he tries,

From the recesses of his mind.

 

Blind.

Blind.

Blind.

Blind. 

 

I feel like a blooded lime,

Embedded in time,

A melancholy rhyme,

A mime,

 looking into a mirror,

The opposite of sublime.

 

You have some issues,

At least you know that.

You avoid the tissues,

Scared of being viewed as  just scat.

 

How do I breathe?

When all I breathe is suffocation.

I do condemn myself,

I condemn myself to strangulation.

 

The trap so heavy,

So filled with lies.

It simply lies,

And in addition it spies.

 

Alongside your heartbeat,

The curtains are drawn clear.

You don't want people to question,

 To know what makes you watch your rear.

 

But you know what it is,

Especially when you find yourself wasted.

Your fucked up mind,

Depression of earth it has tasted.

 

Once you see it you can't go back,

Its work as an emotion,

Its effects on your mind I have tracked.

 

Don't bother trying to escape,

Or even to eliminate,

As all you will do is create,

A Stronger hate,

When it comes and it takes the bait.

 

A true mind's reading,

Save your money on a reader.

When you can simply drink,

And let your mind be the breeder,

Of any simple idea.

Or even complex idea.

 

I ought to end it hear,

Though I keep staring into this mirror,

Not sure what it says to me,

Completely unclear.

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

Wow... Im right in your head... so real.
Well done for getting it down on paper.. :)

[Stan Lee]

In addition, Oh he tries and he tries. I love that line - Keep trying - never give up. :)

[~]

What a rant my friend. I liked the different shifting in tone and mood, also in length of the stanzas. It made the flashes of subconscious more vivid.
There are always things we do not understand in life, but the hardest one to understand is our own self.