Thoughts of confusion.

Just something i wrote because i felt i needed to try and understand my feelings. I don't expect it makes much sense and also doubt that it follows the traditional structure of a poem.

Times used to be so utterly simple.

The cards would all fall into place.

Now the world's left me lost and dismal,

Feeling like my life's a race.

 

I didn't ask for this fall from grace,

This sudden transition,

This change in my gaze.

I simply wanted some peace to take my place.

 

 All I wanted was a little release,

Wanted  the arguments to cease,

To eradicate  the tension that's still in place.

 

So often now my heart beats so fast.

Emotion transcends my logic at last.

Perhaps I can give up on all the haste.

 

There's no point in me trying,

For me to continue on denying.

I'm yours, to the point that I'm dying.

 

So please help me to accept the truth,

Which I hope I wasn't born to lose.

At the end of the day,

It may not matter, anyway.

 

Lead me away,

From this corrupted place.

This foul pit,

Filled with disgrace.

In the end,

 it won't matter anyway.

 

I've already lost you, anyway. 

Author's Note

If it's poorly written criticize it, it's how I improve. Any comments are welcome.

Reviews

[Ed Fagan]

It's not poorly written, It was born as it need to be. It's like anything else, right now you are finding your footing, you are bound to be unstable and awkward. The trick to this is persistence ... keep working, keep reading, and above all do not self criticize to the point where you cripple your ability.

It's apparent that at this point in your life you have the desire and the passion to take action and a good hard honest look at yourself and the world around you, those are essential qualities in any art form ... run with it.

[WordShaker33]

The last couple lines hit me pretty hard. "I already lost you anyway" I relate to that in so many ways I can't even begin to explain. Beautiful poem, great work.

[Richard Helbert]

i keep reading and i keep enjoying i like your style of writing and with words and structure as god as your it gives you alot more freedom to say what you need to say. very good job

[7ofspades]

I like how your writing style is like a conscious stream of thoughts. I can relate. Looking forward to reading more of your writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Had the feel of song. Needs some music. I liked the flow of thoughts. The energy of youth lead us to wild and crazy places. I like the good description leading to the sad ending. We always learn too late what we had and lost. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote