The day that chinchillas took over the world

I originally posted this at anime.project-ddl but I figured that this website would be a better home.

The day that chinchillas took over the world

 

It was a cold, rainy day in Brazil. To the small, fuzzy chinchilla navigating through thick grass while praying it wouldn't get eaten, today was the sunniest day it had ever experienced. It found its target goal, the central chinchilla burrow of South America. Through here, chinchillas could appear anywhere in South America. Unfortunately, a local predator had noticed the little rat freak and it never made it into the burrow.

 

Inside, there was a clamour, an uproar. Freedom from being overhunted to near extinction? Freedom to live in the sunshine without being skinned alive by poachers? It was unheard of, but they were desperate. The great chinchilla revolutionary, Gouretoratto, had a solution. The chinchillas huddled in closely to listen to his thunderous SQUEAK's. "SQUEAK!" (Translation: It is time to take back our right to live! Today we fight!). There were thunderous squeaks of approval. The decision was unanimous, the feeling complete as they all charged out of the burrow.

 

At some bus stop in Mexico, some people were talking about the FIFA world cup. They didn't feel the least bit of concern... until they felt the ground shake. It started slowly, but built to a roar. Chinchillas were coming! And there were a whole lot more! The residents fled, but it was too late. They were buried in chinchillas, where they met their fate.

 

Towards the Texas border, some illegals had been obtained. They were being searched, their privacy abstained. The ground began to tremble under the pitterpatter of millions of feet. They were rushing, rushing to something they'd greet. One minute later, only the vans were left by “the” man. The chinchillas then hatched their most devious plan. They all packed in, most in the back. They cramped in on the pedals and wheels, like one giant pack.

 

One week later, they arrived at their goal. Unfortunately, their long journey did not hit a lull. They crashed through the Whitehouse Door. With little resistance, they couldn't have asked for more. Security was a breeze against such a swarm. You can't kill forests with what was their norm! The only survivor, the president was spared. He was glad until he heard what was declared.

 

Gouretoratto demanded chinchilla freedom in the form of a law. The president agreed to this, as he munched on coleslaw. The second demand he could not meet. So to pearly gates he did greet. Chinchillas grabbed all the nukes and munched on his bone marrow. Gone overnight was Rio De Janairo. Whenever chinchillas faced hardship they would reply, With a multitude of missiles raining from the sky.

 

Unfortunately, their peaceful respite seemed to have been eaten by termites. The great Gouretoratto had met his demise. It seems he had been crushed by banana cream pies. The Chinchillas panicked, they knew not what to do. This was not something that they could handle going through.

 

Long story short, after hearing about chinchilla breeders in China, they had a big arguement and wound up leveling downtown D.C. Now all that's left is death and decay and 20 ft. tall mutants. The end.

Author's Note

I'm too lazy to fix any spelling issues. I'm really just posting this thing for the reason of "because I can." This is also straight from the word document I wrote it in.

Reviews

[Ron Sanders]

This might be the most retarded work ever written. I pondered, I extrapolated, I juxtaposed. Please read it before you die. And I really did ponder it. Sheer genius.

[CaptainWak]

This was an older story. Maybe next time I'll post "The Homicidal Avocado"

[Bunnycorn]

it was a very nice story. I Somehow wonder how you come up with this stuff me cap'n.

[Vicki L.]

Anything about chinchillas is awesome in my book! I loved how it rhymed there for a while. If ever you do decide to revise, keeping the rhymes all throughout the story would be epic.

[B MacGregor]

I love a good chinchilla story. It gives necessary hope to muskrats everywhere.

I agree with the cadence suggestion. Yes, best to think of stuff sooner than later.

[CaptainWak]

To answer, it didn't occur to me to rhyme until I got a little ways into this thing. Considering how I seldom make revisions, I need to start thinking of this stuff sooner.

[LittleOddBall]

That was an epic story!

It was awesomely funny, and I was pleasantly surprised when the sentences began to rhyme. However, doing so made the first two paragraphs a bit awkward compared to the rest. The ending was also a bit awkward and abrupt. I felt that it didn't really fit with the style and flow.

Regardless, this was an amusing story, and I liked it a lot.