5 page letter

written 7-6-09

I wrote you a 5 page
letter today

in which I beared  
my soul

I told you how I
couldn't stop thinking
about you

How every time I try
to sit and write.
Only poems of you
come out of me.

I wrote you a 5 page
letter today

I told you
the events of my day

bored and thinking of you
writing it got me through work

I aplogized for making
things uncomfortable

I could tell
in the reaction I saw
days before, that
I was overstaying
my welcome

I wrote you a 5 page
letter today

I told you how
I probably would not
come to the 4th of July
party

so as to give
you some time
away from me

I know you need it
right now

even though your mom
invited me over

how I was sorry
your mom implied
too much, about us

So I found my excuse
not to come and ran with it

I wrote you a 5 page letter
2 days ago.

and I'm thinking
it's best
that I never send it