Vengeful core

the start of negative billie. But I haven't told you about that yet have I?

To most revenge is an unnecessary evil

an outdated emotion

To me seeking vengeance is joyful

I love to play it out in my mind to the very detail

wait unitl you are unsuspecting and exact my cold vengeance


though you who so long ago hurt me deeply

changed my persception of the world

sitting there for months with nothing to do

all I thought of was you killing you every day in my mind

making you suffer a different way each time

you set me of this path, built up my core of evil



You got away however, drove your mother to pills and alcohol

I laughed when I heard the news

coma caused by the comibination

she had a chance to live, dear grandmother pulled the plug

I considered that my own little revenge


After so long you did escape off to live with granny dearest

so often i sat there evisioning perfectly the things i would do

I did often see you walking at school

I saw the fear in your eyes while i walked behind you

no worries then too many witnesses, you thought I took it well


where are you now?

I dont know but soon i will

vengeance is a dish they say that is best served cold

I tend to agree with that saying

all the better not to get caught


hope you are settled down somewhere easier to find you that way

hope you are full of hopes and dreams

with one visit I plan to smash them all

take away everything from you, I believe it only just

I hope the uneasiness you felt , at me behind you has passed it will be my chance
© 2007 Captain Savage
 

Reviews

[Negative Billie]

"though you who so long ago hurt me deeply

changed my persception of the world

sitting there for months with nothing to do

all I thought of was you killing you every day in my mind

making you suffer a different way each time

you set me of this path, built up my core of evil "

Interesting poem you have hear. a vengeful core, I think i know exactly what the hell you mean. guess i'm not the only one to picture someones death. any way as to why i quoted you, this sets it up for this person's vengeance, though i think you need to cut away some of these unneccessary words, and use some more description here. the poem could be shorter, with more description. That way it would put more into detail the length this guy has gone to in hunting this b*****d down.

the I hope you are settled down part, could be unneccesary. though i dont know what to replace it with.

not really a helpful review, but i think this could definately be more detailed and a hell of a lot better that way , though a good start.

[Emily B]

With some character development, I can imagine a short story or novel based around this guy. . .

[H. A. M.]

Yeah, this definitly sounds like some Michael Myers stuff you got going here. Hate personified.
"I saw the fear in your eyes while i walked behind you"
That's got to be the hardest line in this. Kinda reminds me of this guy that I saw on some investigative documentary. The Iceman. Only he was a hit man getting paid to do it. It's a sport with this guy. Well done.

[The Sharpest Lives Are ..]

ooooh who pissed u off lol?

[Jennie French]

This is kinda creepy. But it's very good. I could never write something this hateful. Sometimes I wish I could. But I don't display anger through poetry very well. This was a good read. I enjoyed it, even though it gives me the heebie jeebies. :)

[Avoiry]

this is stalker creepy. This is correct though karma happens and then time lapses and the mind forgets making the errors it did . It makes it easier to get the long craved revenged.

[E.L.C.]

Wow this is creepy! hahaha reminds me of this really bad date i went on... though i think i am more the one of vengeful thoughts. Vengence... such a devious emotion. But even when it has benn wrought, you still end up where you were before. The pain that person inflicted will still be quivering through you... Good piece here, I think if you cut it down, and use more imagry this could be amazing.