Realization

Odd.

I remember all the different kinds of years. The dark blurs of color that wash over ages 12, 13, and 14. Who would've thought that four years later I'd be the happiest I'd ever been. Now that everything's coming back to the surface, I'm thinking about my old room. Where I spent lonley nights waiting for the phone to ring. An insomniac with no feelings except when out of the house. My room was my sanctuary. The blue walls filled with various posters, pictures, and drawings. I wasn't living. I was the walking dead for three years. Afterall, no one said that middlee school and your freshman year are the greatest years of your life. When I moved out of this house in the beginning of the year, I was forced to take everything from the walls. And now there was nothing but blue. A wave of change. The soul of my room lives with new people. I drive by the house occasionally and observe the people who reside there now. It's as though they're the perfect family. A young good looking couple with two children. A boy and a girl. And a small dog to go with. I've always envied those who had what I wanted, and most of the time it's happiness. And even now it always feeds at me. It gnaws at my core...not wanting others to be happy when I'm not. It makes me sick. Later it'll destroy me and make me someone I don't want to be. It'll get the best of me. And when I'm not happy, I'll make myself useful by chasing after the crazies. The man who takes me home to meet his parents, but when I do, there's two sock puppets on his hand who he talks to. And then when I'm sleeping, and hear something outside, I open my eyes and see him sitting on the tree outside my window...with his parents on his right and left hands. Why me? I'll ask myself. It must be in the cards.

Reviews

[Scott Irvine]

This is true for a lot of us. Thank you for sharing. Quite beautiful.

[Violet Rose]

"Maturity" could also be a title. Isn't is scary, transforming suddenly? Rarely can we find a decent writing about this transformation, but you did a great job using an array of imagery, but limiting your words as well. I liked the line "The dark blurs of color that wash over ages 12, 13, and 14" best because it sums up the writing the best.