Ice Cream

My stuffy nose and

Cold salty tears refrain me

from ranting on about the

falier I am.

My lips become dry and

My eye-sight becomes blurred from my

emotional discharge

(through the eyes).

 

Wipe away my sadness through

A friendly handshake of ice cream.

I heard that's what works to get rid of

the pain...

 

Reviews

[THE BLACK SEAL]

lol this is quite good. i love the irony in it

[Nocturne]

Hi there,

I was browsing poetry and I came along this poem. What I enjoyed about it most was that it took something as simple as ice cream (though I know a lot of people who'd scoff at calling ice cream simple!) and tied it into a powerful emotion. This poem focused well on expressing the feeling of loneliness and how a person will seek solace in shallow comfort.

I'm not sure if you are interested in critique on the poem, but I noticed a couple things. In line four, "falier I am." I think you meant "failure". I know how often I get caught up in the flow of writing that I miss typos and misspellings, but they do matter. I've found in my own readings of poetry that they distract me from the message and words of the poem, startle me out of the world the poet's creating. Another thing; I'm not certain if line eight really adds anything to the poem. "(through the eyes)" almost seem redundant in the context. Perhaps the poem could stand just as well without the parenthesized lines?

Again, I'm glad I had a chance to read this piece with its fun imagery and sobering message. Thank you for sharing this poem, and good luck with your writing!