Mike's Ghost Story

I wrote this for one of my friends...as you can tell in the title. I'm not sure what to call this..

 

Clarissa ambled out into the misty darkness that led her to 7 East Hollow Avenue. Her hair stood on end as she entered the old wooden porch. She treacherously put her right hand on the gold door knob and pushed the dirty-white door flippantly. Clarissa took a stride in the dark, messy, creepy elderly house. A mysterious force closed the door…hard. Clarissa looked back in trepidation. Her mouth was agape and her eyes grew enormous. She turned back so she was no facing straight again. Clarissa got a better look at the vestibule. She noticed stairs leading up into an ominous landing. So she climbed the unbalanced staircase.

            A cold rush slid through her body when she arrived at the top stair. Clarissa glanced to her right then left. It was the left side that caught her attention. There appeared to be an aged woman perched in mid-air a few feet from her. Clarissa let out a high-pitched scream and the woman floated closer to her. She raised her translucent, skeletal hand at Clarissa. Clarissa tried to find enough courage to move, but she was in too much shock. She was shaking violently and her heart felt as though it was in her throat.

            Clarissa’s feet began to move ahead of her down the dark flight down. Naively, she looked back and saw the apparition following after her. Clarissa sped up but forgot the entrance door had closed. She started to panic as she tried to open it….the door was jammed. Clarissa tried everything she could to open it…and something happened. A gust of wind out of nowhere pushed open the door from the outside. Clarissa fell on her back, but hurried back up.

            Never again did she visit 7 East Hollow Avenue.

Reviews

[Gary A Wilson]

The story itself has a good build up, but in the beginning it had words that weren't needed - "treacherously, flippant". Fear is a raw emotion, keep it simple and you'll bring out the true essence of the story.

That being said, I enjoyed the story

[siri]

that reminded me of this cool abandonded school i went in that was a fun story! thank you for the read!!!!

[Dave Lounsbury]

Pretty good. Could easily be explanded into a longer piece. Great eerie atmosphere.