Rants

big random thought box

 

 

    If you're two-faced can I stab you in the back?

    well of course you're not a monkey's uncle

    you're his nephew

  I need a bud light

    A Marlboro light

    And a light

    They'll get me through tonight

 

    A man who yearns for honest relationships must remember to pay his prostitute

 

    kooktshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    "And a new study released today shows the 23rd chromosome, the one responsible for the male gender, previously thought to be regressing towards extinction seems to have stabilized at a poetic simplicity which shows no further sign of backing down.

    "Whoo hoo, I was soo worried."

    ah ha, yes indeed, well, looks like we'll get it right eventually, good night America, and, well, God bless.

 

 

 peaceful protest is not the history of the world.  Pacifism, though ideal, is the philosophy of cattle

 

    the 3rd child

    the first superfluous

    an impending catastrophe from the moment it's original craving is appeased. The abomination only murder could forgive.

 

 

    The world is fair.

    There,

    Now it's written.  Next time some a*****e tells you where's it written that the world is fair, tell um right here.

    The time is quickly passing

    Approaching middle age

    Soon walkers, grumpy ramblings, and a plaque upon a grave

    We're gonna # ing die here

    Fail breathing and then lie here till we're dust and gone away

 

    Perhaps it doesn't matter

    How we perform upon this stage

    Perhaps were merely matter

    Particles pondering a maze

 

    But I've enjoyed, been batter

    A base for me was saved

 

    This bottle is a bible that I preach with everyday

    Perched upon my pulpit praising the night away

    Pontif of a parish praying loudly till I lay

 

    Jason told me many tales and I believe them all

    My favorite wail involved his bail for answering the call

    To live the lie

    And march or die

    Patrolling on our wall

 

    Scale and sale and dodging jail was how he'd pay for things

    Interesting life lived by the knife dealing Atlanta brings

 

    He and a brother

    Set out to smother

    Wouldn't quite say why

    But plot begun to chase and run till that sheriff's boy'd die

 

    All went wrong and sirens on till court was soon convened

    And there We'd lost another hoss but sheriff intervened

    and pushed the deal that made him wield a molten M16

 

 

 

 

    Do we call them ideologies cause they're stupid?

 

 

    Go through life with your seat belt off

    Learn to cough

    Ride your wave, they all crash

 

 

    So you shouldn't fight back anymore

    No more personal war

    Ban the solution build up what it started for

 

 

    Like an engineer barreling towards a school bus

 

    like a critic who laments, i've seen all these letters before

 

    more hope filled than John Wayne Bobbitt on hearing they found his penis

    more relieving then his first post traumatic orgasm

 

    They got attention deficit, but is not a syndrome it's an empty home

 

 

    You might lose the fight, but if you don't fight you're lost

 

    a nation with no placebo effect

    a nervous wreck

 

    it's expanding beyond gravity and will accelerate itself to death

    we'll have to convert energy to matter on a universal scale but we're no good at making energy matter

    we've made matter energy making matters worse, but to save eternity,

    energy must be the matter.

    proton decay's a b***h but if we don't have a tow rope by half a billion years it won't matter anyway

    so there's half the battle

    good luck kids

 

    when the goin gets tough she leaves

    Darleen don't lean on eternity

    she's been

    everybodys dancing queen

    she's seen

    everybody glance between

    Irate outburst get results

    incoherent slurred insults

    if you wanna get things done

    then you get your b***h begun

    disrespecting gets respect

    gesticulating nervous wreck

    instigate some aggravation or they're gonna keep you waitin

 

 

 

    the Mayan calender predicted our destruction but not their own. They are the empire with the dubious distinction of collapsing unopposed. vanish. Alone with 2 continents they implode round about the time they invent chocolate and cocaine.

 

    well adjusted, personality ordered

    he remembered to use Thompson's water seal

    Duralube prolonged his engine life with increased horse power he could really feel

    AAA was there for him and he was in good hands with alstate

    his neutered labradoodle's papers had been shot

    his fence was picket so as not to be sat upon, he was always on one side or another

    and on January 2nd 1971 he lost the urge to smoke though still indulged after a movie or good cop drama

    independent, middle of the road, politicians fought over him and he prudently judged the quality of their ads before making his decision

    Mr. Bobbit, no relation, manned his cubicle at the unemployment office where he contributed to the war on terror with every freedom fry he crammed in the sizable contents of his lower lumbar supporting chair

    sit eh' zen

 

    Dis ah be ah damoss significan since ah Da Funk

    Coodin even suhpassin da funk iffin involvid some ah Da Funk alongwit

    Da butts ah jarratin n such,

    Is ah good, we be wantin dat with da dangin around n makin da moogy

    It breaka da steek,

          ya know, da steek?

    Ah ba dangit, him needa mema

    Can I get me a mema in here

    Da honky needin a mema

    Tank ya aunty

    Ya see dare a steek up in back makin da stiffness

    Dis ah breakin dat lettin da booty woogy causin da gooten allover

    I has sawn it and is a good

    Dis a be makin dat

    Yabadadabity?

    It breaka da stick n den no mo wift da stiffness

    N den da booty boogy

    N den da comma togetha

    Disa whata been tryin

    N a scary befo I'm known dat

    Ba like da other scary befo n den be wantin again again again

    ha hah, yeth suh

    Is a good, dissa been what we'z tryin splain all dissa along

    I'm so not gay

    so not gay

    If I was a f*g would I fold my arms and lean back like this

    no way

    look at that guy

    f*ckin homo

    totally wants me to f*ck his a*s

    I can just tell

    f*g

    thinks he's better than everyone, bet he stares at himself in the mirror

    look at that pole smoker

    bet he wants to suck my d!ck

    just slob on my sh!t ha

    he can't stop thinking about my balls all rubbin on his pretty little mustache

    ha

    *shifts junk*

    f*ckin queer

 

 

    He'd thought "find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life" meant it wouldn't feel laborious, but it meant you're getting fired. We just can't stand a smile. Nothing is more aggravating than that happy b*stard when you're waiting on a paycheck.

 

    As a dog returns to his vomit,

    So do I play chess

 

    F**k your lie ability

 

    lowest common denominator domination

    highest average oogle we could get

    appeal to all of you

    the dumbest gets it too

    next season got to be the dumbest yet

 

    We make boys who won't climb trees

    no skinned knees

    agile thumbs but won't say please

    while the girls grow up to be

    precisely

    what society has decreed

    bombarded with the imagery

    of simony

    they sell their selves for free

 

 

    those that tell don't know

    those that know don't tell

 

 

 

 

    don't stop being ok with yourself so someone will start

 

 

    in this world I've seen beautiful dreams

    in piles of # where I go

    pull out my hair and scream blood curling screams

    then look up to see a rainbow

    is there a script

    a meaning for things

    I wonder yet know I can't know

    but I'll live like it's true and great thanks to You

    for starting this crazed fiasco

 

    if form is following function

    then what the # are we

    forming at the junction for all posterity

 

    you're not what they have done to you

    you are what you have done

    no matter what they put you through

    no matter where you're from

 

    oh girl

    got me down with your power line

    current currently divine

    curtain closing curvin shine

 

 

    pour it

    poet

    pile it on 'er

    fugedaboutit

    we'll just start an add campagn on the horrible case of 2-year-old Timmy Two-needs who died because dip#'s donor card couldn't be found in time. Then pass a bill making the assumption of donation and only wakos will sign up not to donate which on top of which the unborn lack the capacity to do and they aint even citizens anyway.

    sure it'll get sticky first time some mormonite's fetus is slathered on Britney's face but #um, we got way better lawyers and do you have any idea how effective babys are on wrinkles

    f8ckin phenomenal

    Britney's 65, I # you not

    sixtyfuckinfive

    trillions baby

    catch-22, hut, hut, hike

    touchdown

    big time

    think i'll have the blonde

    blondes?

    f*ck it, blondes all the way around Heidy

    Bill gonna need a Timmy in triage stat. (click)

    yeah

    skulls

    "skulls!"

 

    it took Gorgeous George 10 days to repeat himself.

    "repetition is the definition of excellence. you wanna be good at anything keep doin it. You do jumping jacks everyday, you gonna be a jumpin jack mother #er."

    10 continuous days of advice from max seg's cell #2. Life, b*****s, money, boxing, crack, needles, meth, hep c, who he is, how he be, how to be.

    "the 3 best books are the Koran, the Bible, and The 50 laws of power. you can't just read that # straight through, you gotta study that # like a class. read one chapter and then think on it ya know. oh and the 50 laws of deception and the auto biography of Willy Loyd. That mofo had 50'000 mofo's ready to die for him.

    at the end of the day I'm a slimy mofo but I'm a good guy to have on your side

    I aint #,

    but i'm a Muslim

    and a vice lord

    and I aint got your back, I got your shoulder."

 

    the spirit may be indomitable, but the skeletal system is not, and so their gavel crashed down on that little monkey contorting, crippling, mangling till the largest ape convinced justice was done, sat back down by the ladder to resume scoffing while the other 3 screeched excitedly about the immobile mass which lay fixated on a golden treat above till its pupils had swollen shut.

    because that's the way it's always been

    because that's the way it's always been

    because that's the way it's always been

    because that's the way it's always been

    what if?

 

 

    you know how gay he is, he's so gay he's been denying he's gay for an hour. that's gayer than dudes #in. That's gayer than thinking about a dude while you're jerking off. I mean that's hiding in the closet and holding the door shut with both hands kinda gay

 

 

    I saw wednesday that oil executives, native corporation leaders, and other business owners calling themselves "Alaskans for Justice" gathered to rectify Ted Stevens legacy.

    Rallying at the International Airport named preposthumously in honor of The Honorable Senator Ted Stevens, "Alaskans for Justice" called for the heads of two prosecutors and an FBI agent.

    Good to know they're out there advocating for us all. What a relief it was to learn that the guy bribing his close friend was a child rapist the FBI had made a deal with and not some good man on video bribing a senator, defrauding democracy

 

    urine good hands with alstate

    just piss on um

 

    Buddha thought he saw 3 calamities, an old man, a sick man, and a dead man, but there was really only one. the passage of time is insignificant compared to its passengers. the myopic, greedy, destructive actions of few and the passive response of the many is the only calamity here.

 

 

    Listen son, the only unforgivable sin is the dirty s**t I hear they done to ya. I'll never forgive ya for it.

    Now I can sit down and chit chat with con men and rapists, but their victems'll always be lookin at a mask on pity, disgust and snicker. And ten times if I'm the one that done it cause then your worse evil then whatever you made me do. I know it don't make no sense boy, but it aint gotta, life's not a fictional story.

 

 

    spellin be bolliks anywho, not mor bain on communicatin dare be den won way lookin at a word. what da C fer anywho when we'z K n S. da whole lot ring devil. bunch falutin # makin rulz caint no won member n say nuttin worth noin no how n den day got da dash n 2 be really won in dey tink yer fer no count on count dat ba dare be not all room in yer noggin n ya put all dat dare be not room fer nuttin. word doan knowin what it look like anywho

 

    oy, da moss importan fer been da president gottin be good hair. dem all gots it

 

    oy, now iffin ders both all critter, den how dem lion eat after landin? every meal be the end o so sorry critter.

 

    nuttin say sincere appology toin me like when da repentant readin da prepaired statement from him lawyer in da podium dat him quickly flee. Dat makin me know him had da transformatin

 

    dattin be fack n eye be a poodin despenser. chocolate, vindla, lemonade, n da rasbury top iffn ya yank hardn long nuff

 

    oy, n doan git me wrong laddy, at the great end all be all scrap fer da whole lot, iffin ya look cross an see ya Jesus on dat o side, well den ya jus gut yur commander on count dat bein da devil

 

 

    the honorable Seneca Lee Scott at chur service

    iffin dat mean drunk

 

 

    two teeth

    and a Gigantic

    Green Granny Smith,

    Round and Round and

    Round, the core of

    a Granny Smith

    and Two teeth

 

   

    you can have everything that there is in this world

    freedom's free for you and so are pretty girls

    there is nothing that your friends won't do for you

    politicians are good and you can trust um too

    no one ever lies especially your mom

    no one ever cries except at sad sung songs

    no one ever dies we'll always carry on

 

    santa Claus is real he cares for Christian boys

    santa Claus is real he hears their every noise

    he's down at the parade, selling all the joys

    of real Christmas spirit and its walls of corporate toys

 

    good men go to college bad men go to jail

    life is full of meaning and the woods are full of quail

 

    muslims are the terrorists, the NSA is not

    things are getting better, even when they're not

    things are gettin gbetter and nobody should be shot

 

    money's most important, it's worth more than your friends

    you always need more money, you always need to spend

    money's most important, it's how to pick your job

    your not under control no your not a worthless slob

 

    violence is always wrong, nothing's worth a fight

    conform conform conform, bow down to the might

    cause if our soaring nation makes you hate your plight

    youre wrong youre wreng youre wrong so pay youre taxes right

 

    TV makes you smarter, shows you what to buy

    set your fat a*s on the couch and never ask why

    don't you ever ask nobody why you never ask why

 

    

 

 

 

    suppress symptoms

    feed disease

    collect fees

    Kurt Cobain

    Kurt go bang

    Kurt's big brain

    is curtain stain

 

 

    -And here from the Presidents council on death prevention is Madeline Albright ladies and gentlemen

    Thank you Chuck

    -this is quite an endeavor you've set upon, please tell us about your work at this new council

    Thank you Chuck. You know, when the President approached me with this amazing opportunity to serve I thought of all those deaths we'd prevented in Waco and throughout the world

    -but didn't you cause those?

    A common misconception Chuck, we've prevented them from happening today

    -I see, since they've happened

    And not just that, we've located the #1 cause of death through our tireless research

    -ah yes, cancer

    No Chuck, birth

    -birth?

    and to help prevent birth my tailor will be offering my special blue suits at low cost to all Americans

    -a clothing sale?

    compulsory clothing yes

    -have to buy clothes?

    and wear, it's the corner stone of our end childhood death earmark to Obama care

    -like mao suits?

    not at all Chuck

    -but doesn't that make life, well, less alive?

    Life has killed Americans Chuck, it's a terrorist

 

    one thing after another

    one thing after another

    one thing after another

    one thing after another

    one thing after another

    one thing after another

    one thing after another

    one thing after another

    one thing after a motherfuckingnother

 

    And now that I've gone Feral

    on my tromp through yonder bush,

    I'll run lashing out my tale

    of the frail and sitting toosh;

    I'll hang all the heads that fail

    with the wail of excuse

    and gasp my last exhale

    a dead avail of pursued truth

 

 

    would you like to have sex?

    ok, but i'm going to need a house, a car, and a wardrobe

    fine, you'll have to do most of the cooking and cleaning

    Alright, i get to have an affair

    i'm leaving you for Viagra and a younger woman when you're 45

    i'm keeping the house, the car, and half your pay

    Bobby and Sue?

    Davey and Sue

    I do

    Me too

    there is a chasm between the city and the desert in which we live

    many scream at their city from their desert

    many won't look at their desert for fear of locking their own eyes

    there are almost no bridges

 

 

 

    i'd like to introduce myself

    a man of class and wealth

    a brilliant specimen in perfect health

 

    i sure would like to

    This tangled web that you've been weaving

    With these words of deceiving

    Been so sly with lying scheming

    Cruel to love and now it's leaving

 

 

And bring brothels back

 

   

 

    Dogs are talking and they're hopefully concerned.

    They know something's wrong

    the 12th ice age in a 100'000 years wiped out all major mammals.

    He's the best friend you'll ever have, and archeologists are barely aware of him. 3 foot gnomes, Neanderthals, saber-tooth capes,

 

 

Where gonna golf for time

    olympics 2410

 

    It'll be a beer run at least

    And there'll be stats on spillage and return

 

    Now beard salvage is fine, I do like the idea of big beards doin this

 

 

    12-12-10 Captain of Coast Guard Cutter Blackfin glares from his pilothouse at a dilapidated power boat anchored just beyond the Santa Barbara County line. There a man, if you would call him that, is laying wet blankets in the bow sun.

    “Well, we gonna harass this guy or what?” comes a voice on the water while a Harbor Patrol skiff hangs on the battleship’s stern.

    The binos lowered as captain turned to xo.

    They turned back to that boat draped in Gold Coast mansions.

    “Take us home Mr.Johanson” commands the executive officer.

 

 

    Activist

    Activate fist

    Your rhetoric won't do

 

 

 

    And here I work my voodoo at the board of keys of sound

 

 

    My Reputation runs wide ya know

    By the time it got to Malta no surprise it'd show

    That the girlys wanna keep it for their own P flow

    But ain't no amputation of the soul sensation

    It's a plaster cast creation fo' when I'm on vacation

 

    Like solar cells, I'm renewable

    Put your hand in my hand and it's doable

    10 seconds of silence and we're back to go

    Collectin 200 hollars and a rev rent rose

 

 

    so if you wanna get down in a private show

    As luck would have it, I'm good to go

    Still the neighbors gonna find out dontcha know

    When I'm deep inside, suckin on your toe

    You go

    Oh oh

    Oh oh oh

 

    Treat cha like a brand new bowlin ball

    when it come to lovin, I'm your proper windfall

    gonna Start with rubbin, little cyclical

    Getcha goin round that gutter wall

    Then

    You

    Head

    Down

    mystical mystery lane

    ~Discover

    A pin pokin at your brain

    ~Recover

    strike at the knight again

    ~another

    Picture frame

    strike stoking flame

    stroke, choke, spare complain

    "Eyes smiling"

 

    Well who am I fight with that

    Roll you over, watch expressions freeze and snap

    Four clover to a deep concern

    cringe, tingle, burn

    Stroke, strike, scream, return

    "Now your turn"

 

    One pin wobbles

    Top'll now

    strike again

    ~Phonations

    exhilaratin exhalin

    ~vibration

    sense of zen

    10th frame begin

    Balls come crashing in

 

 

    ~Crescendo

 

    coinciding comic grin

 

    Collapsing, wow, God yes we win

 

    grab a beer and roll again

 

 

 

 

 

    :P:b:P:B:b:P

 

 

    Private Bedroom Affection

 

    Forget about your rental shoes

    Bring your zipper boots

    And your pirate loot

 

 

    "I shot myself, but they didn't get the message."

 

    Queens knight is the key

    Come at me

    Bump c3

    Take the bait break the gait and smash new queen

 

 

    Clutching their lap tops

 

    Just let your imagination run wild with me here said the narateor

    All them spirals in a whirlwind

    And it was generally agreed that the p***y was good every morning/night

 

 

    Now take your pick

    Ream or run for it

    Protection for the kids or lids to gun from it

 

    Poor artists celebrate poor work

    Prosaic jerk

    Propping pebbles that they find

    No diamond mind

    No greater depth then they're inclined to recline with in the crevasse of that couch

    For that they'll vouch

    Just the comfortably benign

 

    so the pope wears a paper hat

    and the pontiff under that

    puts a pen on paper what he pulls from vapor and ya can't contradict that

 

    in the soul of a bureaucratic

    is an ink overflowing vat

    and he spills a bit, but who gives a #, his soul's already black

 

    here's a pole and a bowl and a bat

    fly your flag on top of that

    when your bowls half full there'll be b*stard drool so you're gonna need to beat um back

 

 

 

 

 

    she's committed

    well at least she ought to be

    she's committed more crime then this penitentiary

    quite literally

    and that DA's still blaming me

    but if the truth were to be told they'd prosecute p***y

    every second disease

    any dirt bag on her knees

    how'm I spossed to get along where Hitler had groupies

    razor sharpening cat

    and pull that puppies teeth

    strung along till hope is gone and then we'll face the beast

 

 

    is it any coincidence that so many child molesters, politicians, and oil executives have the same face?

 

    "Want me show ya how that thing works" she said

 

    Giggling on the phone

 

 

    New from Homosapien array Pro Fo Lack Dikks

    The Hydra,

    The Humidifier

    HimHers,

    Chinchilla

    And the 4G network

    Because protection’s your lifestyle

 

    *Nolonger available in cherry

 

 

    If talkin # were kickin a*s they'd all be world class

 

 

    Murder we can handle. We morn, pursue justice, move on, punish and reach catharsis. We're honest about murder.

 

 

    ya can't win em all

    but ya can't win at all

    if ya care what ya could be called

 

    I didn't coin the term

    I copyrighted the chorus

    you rippers don't know what came before us

    and now you wanna be in charge of what comes next

 

    sucka MC's

    "young girls adore us"

    couldn't find a bark in a red would forest

    but since you're so down, gonna put that a*s to rest

 

    bow to the best

 

    With that vice of avarice

    various voluptuous vagrant mites

    vehement vulgar appetites

    get ya vocation least right

 

    your paradise is a pair of dice

    Vicodin, Valium, Vagistat

    gonna put your a*s to work

 

    till the vise versa of vice shake down

    vigilant volitile vocal "down"

 

 

    Move the cosmos

    And Catholics fight

 

    While the stars are burning faster then they're born

 

 

 

    Blank silent stare is worse than ignoring you

 

 

    Words wont

 

 

    I mean the logistics of getting to the next one, and we'll send lobran James in with a lazier canon, but it's got to be in a slow mining vessel. With lazer canons. Running around spitting particle beams through space like galactic hillbillies. Etoquet to don't spit some dude's scum in my mouth

 

    Absolute recycling

 

    Replicators infusing hydrogen, building whichever molecule

 

    And at first I guess we're just gonna have to eat dogs. Mulch the dead

 

 

 

    But not until the plasma frieght train road trip to bleached abandons gas pumps

 

 

    Railroad fouls the idiot gene and was screening for it. Now they can't

 

 

 

    I mean bat # crazy isn't a crime

 

 

    As the kootenai (koot knee) river research car left town

 

 

    Could a kangaroo court convene

 

 

    Sex among social groups, #ing her friends.

 

    Douch bag supervisors on meth. FinallyA flawless system

    He's just lookin at it.

    Freaking At the first minor mistake while they make them all day

 

 

    oh surrender just as fast as you caaaaaaaaaaan

    don't you never fight for nothing

    be a peaceful man

 

 

    any regime which doesn't completely exterminate food, air, water, shelter, and two successful sexual experiences per capita can proudly proclaim preeminence

 

 

 

 

 

 

    People wanted his attention

 

    Bugs don't like baby powder he learned

 

    cry a river then

    cry a river then

    cry a river give a dang if ya do

 

    I got a 3 string fiddle and it's whistlin

    cry a river over me won't you

 

    cry a river then

    cry a river then

    cry a river give a damn if ya do

 

    while the salt streams down round meddlin

    pull the one from my shoulder too

 

    cry a river when

    Then to hell again

    cry a river when you finally knew

 

    You're not a dancing bell,

    irrelevant

    cry a river cause it's all come true

 

 

    So my most reasonable, intelligent friend had himself sterilized. Thank nonGod he won't be there to rise from the ashes

 

 

    Saw the funniest # today at the Salvation Army. This tweeker started callin this guy a b***h about 20 times and then ran off like a b***h when the dude came over to fight about it.

    projection

    dun dun dun dun

    the more you know..

    Ride the fence and the devil gets half

 

    Like the sounds of a warming freight train

    Just open air gushing

    Or you can listen to him # your face

    I mean Dante'd have you harried by wasps after an empty banner while sickening worms fed on your blood and tears, but his modest times edited his pen. We all know daemons are rapists

 

    The thing about cockroaches is you can eat um

    We kept them around

 

 

 

 

    Is it just stupidity or profound times

 

 

    Insincerity offends me, so now it's banned too.

 

 

    Ambivalence is statistically beautiful

 

 

    Let the fool be!? If he ain't dead right away they make him watch!

 

    I just don't think it should take that much energy to deal with um

    Takes away from where I wanna put my energy, and you all just a bunch of douch bags tryin to turn me into a liar

    Why should I carry you.

 

 

    They'll win the argument by not having it

    We're quite certain there shall be no examinations over there

 

    We don't argue long about math errors. We can miss them for centuries, but once you figure out why you were wrong you move forward

 

 

    It isn't from a 100 years of women voters or the Jews. Don't say that, cause if you say that, everything else you've ever said was obviously wrong too.

 

    Pot heads

    crack heads

    more meds

    for the talkin heads on the news

 

    coke heads

    red heads

    coeds

    gotta get me some head from you

 

    balding

    your gone

    hidin till the hair club cover you

 

 

    She's aint a bag ho

    She's f***s drug dealers

 

 

    I want a kid who kicks a rock around.

 

 

    Cumulus, cericus, don't forget to look at us.

 

 

    Listen kid, you gotta beat two gazzels to a football, turn, twist, grab continue sprinting, and fight over it. So don't talk much.

 

    The thing is they know life can be wonderful, and when it's not, it's not worth condemning a child to. They don't think they're the only thing.

 

 

    Greatest generation my a*s

    While the best and bravest went off the #s hijacked hegemony

 

 

    We formed it

    Now it's functioning

 

 

 

 

 

    Fight back or # off

 

    When what is to you is horrible, but to others a wonderful time...

 

 

 

 

 

    Religion is here to keep the poor from killing the rich

    And it's leaving us

    But we're not killing them

 

 

 

    bottomless help pit and into it

    And we go now live to the White House where press secretary Mebble is about to make an address. Can you tell us about the mood there Wolf?

    Pensive Chuck, the state of the union comes in two weeks and the Econ.. Oh Mebble is due now

    Mr secretary mr secretary

    Yes fox

    What can the president say to silence critics calling this an unconstitutional regime?

    That just seditious, the president like any other naturally born citizen takes the constitution very seriously. He has life and liberty throughout the land and in keeping with his oath we are pursueing happiness, and though it has been a resilient foe, we've managed to confine it to a few small pockets in Washington, Colorado, and California.

 

    and now Dan Short for Extenze

    "yeah, I don't need the #, but maybe it'll keep you from being such an obnoxious b***h"

 

 

    lost him again sir

    damn it, old road?

    yeah, right by Wayne manor

    who is this guy?

 

    POW

    to a gut

    "press the telleporter Robin!"

    Zap

    to the shoulder

    “they keep getting back up!”

    Zammo

    off top of a head

    “Robin?”

    POP

    to the knee

    "Robin!"

 

    ever wonder why the villian doesn't rape the hero when he's got him at his mercy?

    broadcasts of bain buttfucking batman

    ya know he would

 

 

    All are equal before the law (cept the poor, it's after them).

 

 

 

    WTF is artificial flavoring? how is that legal: maltodextrin, magnesium chloride, sulfur sulfate, potassium bicarbonate, and artificial flavoring

    What could possibly be in this # that they don't want us to know

 

    This's just in, Bridget Neilson has performed oral sex on Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Flavor Flave. Look for her new book "tail's tale, one woman's triumph over the gag reflex" in your grocer this fall

 

    So two nazis are sitting in a bar and one says to the other

    "Ya know, A lot of people say they couldn't do that"

    "Yeah, but the oven door wasn't that heavy"

 

 

    just learned you can boil water in the microwave. yeah, fireman was kind enough to point that out

 

 

    how in the hell they got New York Times #1 best seller on the cover? books still at the press, aint been sold yet, Best Seller. and I've seen hundreds of these books, just how up to date is this list. Sold twice between 1201 and 1203 tuesday, best seller.

 

 

    ever wonder if the urinal sensor is a camera looking for # small enough to govern?

 

 

    I wanna see the presidents piss. It's not the trucker, or the factory worker, or the fisherman that I'm so concerned about. They might ruin a family, not all of um. if law makers think drugs are such a danger, then lets see their piss. we'll end this war tonight

 

    We've secretly replaced Hiruhito's katana with this Bic smooth flow ball point pen

    and...

    ahhh,

    myth busted

    I'd guess so,

    knowing may be half the battle; however, it would appear the other half is battle.

 

 

    can you imagine how many times Jesus came running to the rescue only to find people #in?

 

 

    And in latter news, the price of monogamy fell sharply today with the increase in unemployment to close at $409'590. Here to shed light on these numbers is relational economist Brent Farms

    thank you Chuck, while the latest downturn in mean relationships came as no surprise to the market, maintenance cost were volatile across the nation to around $65'000 per annul varying greatly by religious and sub/dom orientation; however, chapel stocks continued tumbling as many upper middle class Americans who can afford love are opting instead to invest directly in prostitution and keep their savings with the cartels.

    Well thank you Brent and with a quick synopsis on how you can capitalize on this latest market news we take you live to entrepreneur Sweet Fuzz

    Da hand make da man.

    indeed, now back to Tom with an exciting lobby dollar update

 

 

    much easier to get in the box car then make a fuss

 

 

    by their estimations a chimpanzee was more human than Gandhi. the only creature in the solar system to reason morally on the ramifications of actions and succumbing to angry impulse is our demonstration of humanity. Budha wasn't, neither Jesus, Teresa, nor that Chinese guy, but if you were butt f*cking infants there was no questioning your genome and not a state in the union would remove you from it.

    "we can save this one, he's human."

 

 

 

 

 

    shouldn't ben gay be for hemorrhoids?

 

 

    As a smoker, all be it one on forced hiatus until release's sweet smoldering relief, i'm curious why we aren't the beneficiaries of this wave of tolerance. I understand there's overwhelming research on health concerns, but conception is the leading cause of death. while we owe china annual interest rivaling our pentagon budget, burn a billion years of oil in a few generations, destroy water for hydrogen fuel cells and release child rapists daily, is the guy at the end of the bar really where indignation goes?

    indeed cigarettes offer real world solutions to our pandemic environmental concerns with pleasant reflective breaks halted early. freeing room, salvaging social security, and improving pre-death period along their wheezy way.

    smokers may not boast many marathoners, but i'd wager we perform quite well among great writers, inventors, artists, philosophers and comedians. what's a long geriatric period really worth without us?

 

 

    when you take the wrong path, you get to the wrong destination

 

 

    Everyone knows how many General Lee's they went through, but can you imagine how many Basset's Rosco P Coltrane murdered? If you jump a bridge and miss with the least agile animal on the planet riding shot gun...

    I mean Luke musta been banging the Human Society lady to keep the lid on that one.

 

 

    I'm just glad there's a membrane that keeps me from tying my balls in a knot. I was trying one time and it hits me. God is smart.