Have you ever?

Have you ever done something that you regret so much, that you would give up anything to take it back? 

I don't mean saying something to a friend that you shouldn't have, but knowing that you will make up later. I mean a life or death situation. Something that you had no idea how dangerous it was, until after it's already done, and then knowing that no matter how hard, or how many times you think and pray and wish and hope and dream, you can never ever take it back. 

                                                    ...

Have you ever had a nice day go wrong? I don't mean when it's a nice day, and then it starts to rain, or then someone says they don't like your hair. I mean when your lying in bed, and everything is fine, nice. Then you get that stomach dropping phone call, and you know that everything is not alright. Then you start to blame yourself for it. You think of every single thing that you could of possibly done to cause whatever has happened. When really it's not your fault. It's nobodies fault. These things just happen, and you have to keep reminding yourself that, or else the guilt in your life would be too much to bear. Remember, you only have two hands.

Authors Note: This is not about drugs, or anything like that if that's what your wondering. I, along with my sister, was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes seven and a half years ago. And, I don't know, maybe because she was sick of having her blood sugar high, or she just wanted to come down faster because it is my birthday, or for whatever reason. She put in double the amount of insulin she was supposed to. Most of you don't know what that means, but she is in the hospital right now. And I'm scared. I don't admit that often, but I am. I am scared. And it sucks, because I see how my mom is worried and nervous. How she fidgets with her hands while she talks to my dad, and my brother and me. How she is on the verge of tears, but can't break down for her daughters sake. How my dad is just pissed, like he wants to blow a hole in the world. How when I look at my brother, I see the reflection of me, and how when I look at her, I see a scared little girl, who regrets what she had did, and wishes that she could have started the whole day over, and just could wake up, and it would this morning. And, it sucks. That's the only way to explain it. It sucks.

Reviews

[Pax]

Have you ever done something that you regret so much, that you would give up anything to take it back?

I should say, I don’t have, but now I am remembering something. I think I had a few on the back of my head. And in reading this, I remembered one thing I regret the most, and that I haven’t said how much I love my mom before she died, I was a teenage back then – young and foolish. She was diagnose with breast cancer, that was our worst times in our family experienced. That is why I do understand what you are feelings right now.

Have you ever had a nice day go wrong?

I had many, but I don’t count them. I just go how this life flows. “Remember, you only have two hands.” – with that said, I believed you are on the right track. That you’re doing alright on handling your problems or family problems. It was no one’s fault. It was a mistake that must be learned.

I think it is okay to be scared and be worried. It’s family, and a very close one to your heart. Do you know the last time I break down in crying(alone) back then my dad was operated when he had a blood clot in his brain because of a simple bump on the head. At that time I was still in college, my sisters where far away out of the country and my mom had passed away few years back, and I was scared to death to know my father had a 50/50 chance if not operated directly to drain the blood mass on his brain. So I had no one else to cling to, but myself. My sister told me over the phone that I need to be strong for the sake of my father and to stand for them also(because they are not around) in order not let things falls apart. Long story short, you have to be strong, like what your mother is doing. It’s okay to cry and be scared, you have your mother to cling to, let it out. It’s not good when you bottled up your feelings too much. Mothers instinct are the most understanding trait in the world. I know it sucks, yet for now, do what’s best for the moment.

I got side track on my story, but hope you could find comfort on it somehow. Stay strong… you can do it!

[Lone Willow]

I am so sorry about what happened with your parents, and I hope I didn't make you feel bad by stirring up the memory, but thank you for the support.

[Pax]

no. its okay, It's been long, sorry if i am not constructive enough on my review that's just the way i review. I am sorry about your sister too, hope things will get better.

[Lone Willow]

No that's fine! Connections are as good as constructive criticism. And so do I.