Seeking That Strength

i need the strength to beat this

I blame myself for staying weak
without guiding and praying daily,
making it simple to believe
I have caused many tragedies:
hurt families, faithless relationships,
famished hope.

And I do not want to keep fighting-
holding onto sorrows on the inside,
creating a mask of serene peace outside.

There will be storms I could get lost in,
but I need to remember who reigns above,
who is stirring my soul,
who reminds me of my worth.

And my bruised hands and sunken eyes
no longer fight amongst themselves,
I am becoming less restless
able to understand silence and stillness.

Author's Note

its getting harder to fight