When I Say Goodbye

The day since pain, Seized rule in life,
Forever constant, Has been the strife,
It's time to cut, And rip life away,
Blood and tears, Shall paint the day,
Choked within, Filled doubt,
It seems as though, I'm screaming out,
Yet no one hears, My solemn cry,
As I give up, And choose to die,
It's even now, My mind betrays,
The hopeful nights, And wishful days,
That I've spent, Lost in thought,
Praying for, What I've fought,
To finally end, To finally cease,
And bring about, Much needed peace,
Yet hope it falters, Wishes die,
Prayers unanswered, Left asking why,
Why cant I, Just finally heal?
Why has reality, become unreal?
Why has fate, In mocking me,
Hinted love, But sent misery?
I just cant take it, Anymore,
Thinking this is all, Life has in store,
I've crossed the line, And now believe,
As it's only pain, That I perceive,
The only way, To find it's end,
Free my soul, And finally mend,
Is to eat the pills, Slash the knife,
Tie the noose, And end my life,
Hearts will break, Tears they'll shed,
When those who cared, Hear I'm dead,
I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry Dad,
To give up on, This life I had,
To Mom this must, Hurt you so,
For now it's over, Now you know,
I succeeded, Where you failed,
On this life, I finally bailed,
I took my life, Like you had tried,
But cut deep enough, To make sure I died,
To Dad I know, How you must feel,
Wondering why, I couldn't heal,
Your so strong, Been through so much,
You don't understand, How I lost touch,
To my brother, Who was there with me,
Through the nights, Of childhood agony,
They thought you'd be, The messed up one,
But not now after, What I've done,
You had it worse, Than I ever did,
You dealt with so much, As little kid,
But still your fighting, In spite it all,
So keep your head up, Never let it fall,
To my little brother, Your soul by far,
Out shines that, Of the brightest star,
Passed all thats been, The hurt and pain,
Your younger years, Clouded with rain,
You've made it through, With a stronger will,
And I know your dreams, You will fulfill,
To all my friends, The true and the not,
The ones that are close, And the ones I forgot,
Please don't cry, Or weep for me,
For I'm finally past, All the agony,
Don't blame yourself, None of you knew,
The pain and hell, I was going through,
You brought me a laugh, Or loaned me your smile,
Therein numbing the pain, For a little while,
I thank you all, For being my friend,
You helped prolong me, From the end,
And now here comes, The hardest part,
Saying goodbye, To who broke my heart,
You were everything, I dreamt and more,
By defining desire, And what it's for,
A kiss had never, Invoked so much,
Until our lips, Were blessed to touch,
A glance had never, Pierced through me,
With so much pleasure, And agony,
A face had never, And without a word,
Sang sweet music, The best I ever heard,
I'm so sorry, This will cause you pain,
And a horrible memory, Will now remain,
It'll hurt the most, To let you go,
But despite my end, I pray you'll know,
By finding the Blue, In my skies of Grey,
Like a sun thats escaped, Its rainy day,
Surpassing perfection, And rivaling dreams,
Somehow a fantasy, Better than it seems,
My every affection, That I've known inside,
Will always be with you, Long after I've died,
While I miss you this moment, I'll long you forever,
Maybe in the next life, We will be together...

Author's Note

ill miss you all