The Past Haunts Me.

i hate my past

My mind, it plays tricks.
A bit of light, a shadow.
A flicker of life is shunned.
The taste on my tongue,
Wonders about, making me choke.
On blood, blood I wish to spill.
I can't feel it, I can't feel this life anymore.
I wish for peace, a peace within myself.
My heart, bleeds all too often.

And as the night falls,
Danger calls.
My past comes back to haunt me.
Wounds that are infected,
Infected with poisons love and hate.
I wish to let go but there's no use.
I'm tied down, trapped.
Within my own pain.

Lies are filled around me.
I tell them, not through words.
Only smiles and fake laughs.
My life, is just a mere nothingness,
As am I.
They chased away my happiness.
Where am I? Where am I?
I wish I knew.

The past is my fire,
Burns me, burns me from the inside out.
I can't just let go,
Throw it all away.
My past is mine forever,
So my scars will burn with loathing,
Of myself, the demons and voices.
Carrying on and on about the blood,
I must shed and show.

And as a wish so horrible,
And sinful,
I see it in the back of my mind,
Not everyday anymore....
But it still is there.
Suicide.

Author's Note

very time my past comes back
i think of the suicide just a bit more