Living Hell

the life i live will never be worth living

Here's a single letter,
To anyone it may concern.
For years I've fallen apart,
And was chosen to burn.

You may have look at me,
And seen a happy, lively boy.
Little did you know,
I've always hated the world.

I've never been close,
To anyone that was involved.
  In case they changed their ways,
Or a puzzle was left unsolved.

I have never been trusted,
And I've never been amused.
Each day I lived questioning,
Just why I was so confused.

Each night I've self harmed,
Ever since I was twelve years old.
I never enjoyed my childhood,
Or listened to what I was told.

Things happened to me,
That I was made to self blame.
Abuse was forced against me,
And from that; I was never the same.

Not once was I selfish,
I always offered my coat.
Even when some strangers hands,
Were placed around my throat.

I cannot remember my life,
Besides the parts that fell.
Each day from when I was four,
Was just a living hell.

Have you ever looked into the eyes,
Of your own mother hating you?
With tears in both of my eyes,
I know this much is true.

The life that I've been granted,
I hoped it would be taken away.
Replaced with someone special,
And my soul may always stay.

I've never been entirely happy,
And I've never trusted in return.
I've kept the sorrow in my heart,
To whomever this may concern.

Author's Note

i just want to rest now.