A Guide To English Speaking Asians Coming Back To There Native Countries

Hello Readers! I have to say its been quite a while since I had the time to sit down and write, well not entirely true I have been somewhat avoiding writing mainly because of laziness and wanting to stop writing out of emotion based events. As for readers who haven't noticed I went on a long six month excursion to the Philippines. I wanted to explore the places that I once thought would be impossible, and mainly to close a emotional roller coaster that I have been through for the past year.

I noticed my writings during that time I was traveling seemed rushed, and it was how I was feeling during that moment rather then fully thinking out the situation. I do apologize for those rather emotional rants, from this point I will try to do my best not to go down that path. In short I will make sure I am not dealing with anything emotional in my life that is pretty present, and start spewing my expectations on things. I am slowly learning that I should stop meddling with other peoples interests/pleasures/life choices. I know I preach to "let people live" But I am somewhat hypocritical when it comes to me assessing peoples lifestyle and start to judge how they live and how I believe there life will end. So enough of that here is a more humorous piece or more so guide for "Asian Americans/Aus/ETC" coming back to there native lands or there mothers land. (Although I would like to point out some of this writings will be void if by chance your parents taught you your ethic language, also even though I find some of this very true its meant to be humorous as well, so take everything with a grain of salt." 

Be expected to pay tourist price if you do not speak your mothers native tongue! Sadly even if you look like them, they do not see you as them YOU ARE PAYING TOP CASH for those elephant pants. Hey Kudos if your parents taught you your ethnic language, but if you are like me "English speaking" you are going to pay top tourist price. But I figured out a way to help solve that issue with transport and food. Sadly with street market shopping its really hard to pull the tips I will give to you because there is a lot more communication involved, and they will quickly spot you out.

In most third world countries it is understandable that they want to get as much money as they can from you, I would do the same thing if I was in their situation. But if you travel long like me, it can be very tiring getting hustled ALL the time. Yes most people resort to the "strong arm approach" or "the walk away approach" but lets be honest we have the advantage of looking like them, so lets use that to our advantage.

I have noticed in high touristy areas such as Thailand/Cambodia/Laos/Vietnam/Philippines/ETC you will find yourself needing taxis to get to various beaches or venues that you would like to see, but sadly taxi drivers know all the places you want to go to and they are going to try to get every single dollar they can get to take you there. But with just a few words and some amateur acting you will save a whole bunch of beer money. Recently when I was in Boracay I always wanted alone time and there was this beach called "Puka Beach" it was on the other side of the island, it took about thirty minutes to get to and the cost to get there for tourist via trike was 100-200 pesos (four U.S dollars). Yes I know "cheap a*s" but when you travel for six months to a year that type of cash adds up. I managed to get to this beach with the color of skin and usually with one to two words, a crappy accent with lastly a look of "boredom". all together I got transport price 50% off even 80%, I ended up paying twenty-five pesos to get to this beach every other day. How did I get away with it?

1.) Learn how to mimic the way the locals call the place. COPY COPY COPY if you are in a hostel ask the reception how to get to the place and just replay how they pronounce it. Walk around the taxi area and listen to the cab drivers say the places they think you want to go and just embody it. You already look the part now you got to sound the part. With a accent of the place I would usually really quickly say "Pukauo biiiitch"  that is the first step crappy accent of the place.

2.) Quickly hand them a adequate amount of cash for a ride. Here comes the tricky part, you have to hand them a amount that is enough for them to give you change, do not be giving the amount of a dollar and just start looking at them, because sometimes and its happened to me that even locals do not even get that much of a discount, you will be looking stupid because the driver will know you are up to something. For Philippines I usually handed a driver 100 pesos (two U.S dollars). it was more then enough to get to a place reasonably and it was not to much to draw suspicion.

3.) Act bored. Act like you have done this trip plenty of times and you know the right amount you are going to get back. That simple. I know I sort of went to to much detail on this but if you follow these steps you will save SOOOO much money. Quick accent of the place, hand a adequate amount of money and lastly act bored on and ending in the trip when you get your change back. Most of the time EVEN with food haggling I always got local price. At one point I was spending 5-10 dollars a day on food and transportation.

Get yourself a token white girl! If you want to see white privilege in effect, you will see it in Southeast. Especially in the Philippines. Sadly white skin is valued in this part of the world, and it shows how "some" of them treat a European looking girl more so a local girl. Its the sad truth but on traveling standards, things start to become more convenient for your brown self. I think I started latching on to white girls in Asia mainly because I was treated with way more respect and convenience. In a weird way I found this hack when I traveled the Philippines with my ex-fiancee. I saw the difference between my solo travels through the world alone, and then with a pretty Australian girl. And my God there was a huge difference in how I was treated. 

When I traveled alone crossing a street was dangerous because no one would slow down for my dark a*s, if they hit me well its just another dead filipino. But that all ended when I had my fiancee hold my hand. Traffic would automatically go on a halt stand still. it was like she had the ability to part the red sea. And even recently this holds true to this day because I tested with other white girls... Again standstill 

My first time out in Baguio city alone I needed a taxi to get to MMA training. Alone it took me one hour to finally hail one, but I had to fight for it with three other guys trying to get to a place too. Did this happen when I was with my ex? Hell no! Immediately when she raised her hand five f*cking taxi drivers would pull over. (I swear one guy kicked out a family) sometimes she would do it jokingly and still get people to come to her. Lets just say traveling became more convenient. You want to travel with more comfort get yourself a white girl. Shoot you don't even need to date her just be near her and you will reap the benefits.

Bonus points if shes a blonde! Yep terrible I know but yeah extra points if she has blonde hair. Beauty somewhat means a lot in this world, and I know even in the west pretty people get a pass in a lot of things. But in Asia they are treated like royalty. I swear every blonde girl I meet that is in Asia they all say they are treated like Queens. And I am not saying other white girls get treated differently... I lie blonde over in Asia is considered extreme beauty. I don't know how many times I heard people comment on my girls hair or how pretty her skin is. It might build them a ego but hey you reap the benefits of her being white and blonde.

Locals make more of effort to make your stay comfortable (I get it superficial but f&C%k it) if shes treated like a queen you are treated like a EMPEROR! If the locals see you with a white girl they start to wonder how you even got her. Even if you are not dating her the mere fact that you are associated with her gives you her benefits. I have skipped so much long club lines and even got away with a crappy wardrobe (flip flops and a tank) being with a white girl. Its fantastic.

SO in short swallow your pride get close to a white girl and enjoy Asia!

I want to clarify this is a humorous post even though this writing is somewhat true it isn't fully the case. On every occasion just realize that traveling is a adventure.

-Andrew Paul Caasi