My Short Lived Life With International Models

insecurieties and older models realizing there time is up

Being in the Philippines by myself for about six months I have accumulated a lot of stories. A lot has happened in this amount of time, a lot of personal development. I wont lie my past writings has not been solid, more so emotional written given my states of pessimism. Yes I have to admit I became quite a dreary individual. I will try next time to be more logical in my words and not write whats in my mind at that moment. I do apologize I have realized there has been a drastic change on how I perceive my surroundings. Good things have happened to me on this trip, and dare I say for the first time I found that I put a lot of things to rest here. 

I am nearing the end of my adventure here, and there is a feeling of sadness that I am going and also a little excited to come back to my home back in the states. (mainly for the food)

I do want to share a little tale that happened to me over a two week period. It so happened that I came into contact with these two international models from Finland, and shared a little bit on how they lived. Though I find them both to be rather lovely kind people, I really think there lifestyle is rather meaningless and empty. But that is the life they chose, and hey its a life of luxury. But being around models made me realize how fake it really was. It seemed like every word was scripted, every look they gave fake, and every smile forced. But that is only my assessment I could be completely wrong.

When I was younger all I wanted to do was to date a "model" I mean hey why not? Beautiful/hot every single man wants her. I would be the most popular guy if I could land myself a "model". I chuckle at my younger self if he knew half the things I saw. But hey that is why we change over time. From experiences we learn to like and dislike things that we do not find adequate to be apart of our life. Though its not a life that I would want for myself, I have to say it was a fast paced lifestyle of luxurious lounges. Where the rich and famous, also politicians (to be honest maybe I shouldn't put that up because I could get in trouble) hung out together. I have to say all the fine food I had and all the exclusive places I went to in Manila were really surprisingly fun. Well fun for the first four days, yes I did enjoy the parties, and yes there were a lot of beautiful models that I conversed with. But after you basically sober up and assess the situation you start to realize how draining this lifestyle is to these people. In all honesty I have some respect on how they keep this going its admirable so to speak. 

Lets start back a year when I met the couple who would host me for a few weeks. I actually met them last year in Boracay with my ex fiance. My ex fiance really did not like one of the models and to be honest I really thought it was just a girl hating a girl thing. And she would tell me "she really is not even that pretty its all makeup" well safe to say my ex was right, after a few days of spending every day with her well... Lets just say she was really good at putting makeup on, turns out a lot of things my ex said to me ended up being right go figure. Any ways back to the point. They found out this year I was going back to Boracay so they told me to meet up with them there. I was happy to obliged mainly for the fact it would be good to see familiar faces. Well it turned out rather nice hanging out with them in the island. We spent a lot of time enjoying each others company. And with all is said and done these model couple were both rather friendly people. When the trip was ending in Boracay they asked me where I was staying in Manila. I told them a hostel and long story short they invited me to stay in there condo unit in BGC which is a rich area in Manila. I happily said yes and the things I saw on how "models" lived there I will write here. Keep in mind this is my perception on how I saw things, I really do not care how they live there lives if that lifestyle suits them so be it. 

A fast pace luxurious lifestyle.

Well to sum it all up, its just like in the movies. Beautiful people around you, crazy parties, luxurious hotels and food, and lastly rich millionaires/billionaires. When I lived with this couple it was like having everything you wanted fancy in this world. I made so many connections with business men/politicians. And had some of the craziest parties you could imagine. The high life was good it was a life of really not doing anything but enjoying the finest things that money could buy. (But to me there really was no substance to it) Again I am really happy I got to experience this life and I understand most people wont get to do the things I did there. But in reality I believe I could do without it if I had a choice in the matter. To the point it was crazy. I remember waking up in a penthouse suite, then walking down to go to this organic fancy breakfast joint (extremely Instagram worthy) after would get picked up in a Porches to go to some high class area for more drinks and business talks. For some reason in Asia its a status thing when you have models all around you (well obviously its a sham meaning that you are doing well for yourself) and these business men will pay top dollar for foreign models (mainly of European descent) And its insane how much money they pay these girls hourly just so they can hangout with them to look cool. For one hours work, without sex or any sort of sexual intercourse girls would come home with about ten thousand pesos for just sitting there next to the guy without even speaking. (equivalent to two hundred U.S Dollar) I remember my host which was the model that I met in Boracay, she came home one day with fifty thousand pesos and all she did was flirt and party with these business men. So yeah I saw a lot of money being thrown around. But to be honest I found these "rich men" extremely insecure, yeah they didn't really act like it with there fancy cars (Lambos, Ferarris, Bugattis) and there super expensive suits and designer clothing. But with all that bravado I took noticed that they really had only just that, nice things. Yes there was a few who knew how to talk to women, but for the most part these guys had zero to no game if they didn't have there money. Yes beautiful girls flocked to them (I am talking like victoria secret looking girls) but if these guys had nothing, these leeches wouldn't even take a second look. 

And that is the problem how I saw the upper class here, its all about who can propel you forward to something better. I saw it like this. It was like leeches feeding off a endless blob of blood. People who were somewhat relevant hooked on to people who were "something" people who wanted to have a little power somewhere (I believe completely inadequate for the positions they were asking for) They really had nothing but a good University name and a rich family. But I saw them for what they were leeches who were unfit for the task put at hand. 

Any female with a moral compass and a set of virtues would stay way clear away from these so called men of power. And thank God I had relationships in my life where money never really mattered it was all about connection. If I ever got that rich I would hang out with a completely different crowd. And now we get to the hot topic SEX. Well yeah I wont name any names but there was a lot of it. Most likely if you had some money in the bank you are getting a hottie in your bed tonight, f**k maybe even two. I saw a lot of cheating, even my best Aussie mate (who is a good looking half filipino half aussie stud) hooked up with a model who had a rich business boyfriend (shows you the lack of integrity a lot of girls and guys have nowadays) Though it isn't my life and to be fair when I was there I encouraged it by saying "well its up to you man" For the most part just like even in college and backpacking culture, it was just a lot of hooking up and one night stands. And yeah some people enjoy that lifestyle, but for me I now realize I have moved on from it and do not need it to feel secure or to enjoy such things. Doesn't make me better I just find it meaningless now.

After the fire burns.

After all the partying all the fine things there tends to be a quiet period. A period of really nothing for these models, no photo shoots, no auditions, no parties and no business men to take them to nice places. They realize money is tight from the frivolous nights out, they can't afford the nice foods they once had, but they must keep there image up and that is when social media comes in. The biggest lie about your life. (I do realize I have one myself but I know the truth about it) Social media is a persona you build about yourself, yes you want to show places where you are at to your friends and family, I do to. But there is a point where it starts to consume your life. Like my Instagram its mainly about the places I have been, and the witty texts I put. The things I do which is MMA or in my stories traveling doing stuff on my own. Even though these are things I really enjoy there is a part of me trying to show the world "HEY THIS IS WHO I AM" and it so happens its the same thing with these models. They hashtag there pictures and promote crappy products to people who want to follow the it crowd. Sad part is it works. (Even I buy into this s**t sometimes, I am looking at these floral muay thai shorts from one of my favorite instagram fighters) So yeah I saw most of the time my model friends laying around trying to figure out whats going on, and if nothing was happening they just stared endlessly on there screens looking at other models and what they have been doing or posting a picture from there past to stay relevant to the times. I saw them starve themselves thin to the point it was not attractive to what they were doing to themselves. I saw them wash off all the makeup to find that they had flaws themselves. It was all fake to me, everything. Yes they were models (not these fake ones that post on instagram with a amateur photographer and call it a shoot) but there lives where like any others sometimes there were boring periods. I believe my party scene has ended in the Philippines I now find more pleasure in my alone time. But back to it.

Jealousy was really prevalent and disgust towards one another common. I could tell they were somewhat aware of there atmosphere but instead of leaving the garden I know deep down inside they just wanted to stay in the garden, be part of the it crowd. But that led to jealous boyfriends on models who went out with rich guys for money, jealous girls of other girls. Gossip and intrigue it seemed I was stuck in some reality tv show half the time trying to act like I cared for half the s**t these people were talking about. Though a lot were kind to me and I got some free drinks and I do appreciate the nice and kind people that were there for me. I for one had a none caring attitude on what they had and who they were (which in turn made likable to a lot of people) I genuinely went out to have a good time which in turn attracted people to our table most of the time. I remember one time these nasty Swedish born Lebanese man tried to embarrass me. The girls in his table saw that I was without a drink so they started making me one because they were making everyone one, but he saw that I was just this small dark filipino boy. Him being a douchebag yelled out "No he gets nothing" In my defense I never asked for a drink nor needed one from him. He was a fairly big guy but more so body building big not fighting big. He flayed around like he was the ultimate s**t with his fancy rolex his tight clothing bulging his muscle and touching every girl he could. And so he tried to start me by trying to grab me and basically show that he was more dominant. I was not having it and quickly made my boundaries clear to him. Luckily one of my friends saw and quickly moved me away to a different table where I could cool off. But yeah after waking up and seeing everything clearly it was just all big egos. I guess in a way it was always about staying relevant and always enjoying the nice things in life.

Getting older.

Models are one of the most insecure people I have ever met. What they wear they are hard on themselves, what they eat, what they look like, how there persona is. They are some of the most insecure people I have ever. More so equivalent to a person who is overweight or who is not that great in the looks department. Yes they live glorious lives of luxury all the men want them and a lot of women want to be them or just have the same luxuries that they have. Beauty is a great thing to have there is no doubt about that. And yes most of the girls I associate myself with are in the good looking department (Even my ex fiance was beautiful but what made her more beautiful to me was the fact she never flaunted it, my exs when I was a kid all prom/homecoming queens) So yes you could say I am a hypocrite sort of, but I always treat every single women or man as I would like to be treated myself. 

Yes there are some nasty people out there, and not all of them are models. But I soon enough realized the model industry is really a cutthroat industry. You always have to be on your toes if you truly do want to be a model. And I know there are a lot of girls who act or want to be like them. Ladies and gents its ain't all sunshine and rainbows be prepared for a lot stress and emotions. To be honest I prefer a life of solitude then to be in the garden (you could say its because you were in the garden hence you experienced it which is why you can say you don't like it) well there are a lot of things I haven't done and have done there is a saying "you are truly free when you have the ability to say no." and I believe that sentence day by day. Because I use to think like that. I had to try everything from sexual exploits to a hedonistic lifestyle. And yes I learned the hard way of figuring it out myself through personal experience. 

Older models start to realize that there life is almost at a end and they soon start to panic and try to figure out what they need to do to keep there lifestyle. And that is when they get serious about settling down. They figure that they must find a suitable man who can sustain there type of life. And sometimes they do get a happy ending with a rich man, but most of the time rich men like young good looking girls, not a washed up old model. So they start looking from the men they shunned away, but realizing that these men have matured to know that is not the type of woman they want because how they were stringed along and mistreated. (Yes I've heard a lot of stories like this and saw it) So the older model starts to get a disdain for men in general thinking that the world isn't fair. Well sometimes partying and enjoying your youth by partying and hooking up and indulging in lifes pleasures. We pay a toll for that believe it or not. Emotionally Spiritually and Physically we pay a toll when we wisen up.

Like all of us we slowly realize time is running out, we aren't as pretty as we once were so we start to settle. And I saw formers models living there previous glories in there youth afraid of the future. Its funny how when we are young we think we know it all until we get older and realize half the s**t we cared about doesn't really matter... 

Well that was my experience it was short but nice. Though this is more of biased written account of the cons of being a model. I want to specify that not all rich men where like this and not all models had this mindset. Some where the loveliest people I have met. And the models who hosted me where the nicest people to even take me in. I just want to put it out there that it isn't all that.

"Egotism is the anesthetic which nature gives us to deaden the pain of being a fool." -Dr. Herbert Shofield

-Andrew Paul Caasi