Spit Out The Venom.

So, this is about moving on and being fed up. Also, it's for the day you decide to just let go of something holding you down.

I checked the news and saw you died,

My heart skipped a beat, I never cried.

My black clouds turned white, as blue took over the red,

My world turned happy once you were dead.

The forecast said "Thunderstorms, followed by bright and sunny",

Memories of you washed away, I found it quite funny.

I'll wake with a smile on my face,

And my heart at a slow pace.

I'll invite myself back into my shadowed heart,

Splatter blood on the blank walls to spark the art.

No more worrying, no more stress,

Even if it hurts at first its for the best.

I'm well past moved on, I just crossed the state line,

Darkness would fill my eyes but with this light we dine.

Air to breathe, space to move, water to drink,

Without this dilemma I can finally think.

I've locked myself out of my own walls before,

Now I see without you I can explore.

Never, never again will I shut myself out,

The way I was playing it was not what life's about.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

Never again will I get drunk on lust.

Author's Note

My first piece within two months. I worked on it for awhile, so I hope it impresses. Enjoy!

Reviews

[ThEa]

Reading this poem on 25/10/2024, I am so impressed that I found this poem which was written about 14 years ago, the years that have passed by made me feel this incredible work of art even more...

[Aynsley]

Woah, I know how you feel in this. I felt this very same way when my cat died.
I loved her so much, but I never even shed a tear, and I felt so guilty; and I wanted to cry so badly for her, but I just couldn't. I really regretted not crying, but now I've realised, that I didn't cry because she died, that the reason I didn't cry was because it was for the good. Thanks for posting this, It really made me think of many things. You're a really good writer Josh.

[hey]

I really really love the ending, especially the last two lines. One thing I do want to say is that when a piece is written with end rhyme, it gives the piece a very light hearted feel. Your piece is beautiful, about over coming something, and the end rhyme makes it a little well, giddy. The words, imagery everything is perfect though, I don't want you to think I didn't like it :) So good job! I really did like it.

[Alex Thomas]

Incredible, such a feeling of freedom cannot be expressed better. I felt this kind of pain. A lust you thought was love and awful aching sadness when it wasn't. Then I realized I didn't need to be tethered by the loss of love. Of course, that person didn't die... A powerful piece.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought it was very good. I really enjoyed it. I can feel your sadness in there, Josh. I understand that you were sad when you wrote it. I really liked it though. I have experienced this before....when Georgie died....or when my Uncle died....or my friend Cory....Cory is the easiest to say though....he always told jokes and he had smiles on his face. Memories of him always come into my mind. he was a good buddy to me. I really loved him...well anyways thought this was good.

[f**k you]

woo! really nice. But i do have to agree with Jeweliet, at times the flow was just a bit off, so make sure you have an even amount of syllables in each stanza. But either way, the messege was really clear and great and this was rich with emotion. great job Josh m'dear.

-nicole-was-here-

[Emily Paige]

I disagree I like the rhythm to this.

[Jeweliet]

i like this, it's almost hopeful. structurally i personally think the rhythm is a little off, but the rhyme is good. emotionally you cover something which is hard to overcome in depression (i would know). good write =]