see what i see

the first time i wrote this it told me i had to log in first and the whole thing was deleted so sorry if its a bit more sucky than i expected lol.

It's clear around

so pure to see

We're jumping ship

unhumbly

                                  There is a place

where time can pause

with living fields

horse-spirited songs

 

Fear and panic

unfound there

hearts of conceit

are never near

                             A leafless tree

sits unalone

filling its niche

as life's backbone

 

Darkened waters

never seen

not in this world

perhaps a dream

                              I'll fall again

My weighted eyes

to view my visions

of wondrous lies

 

Author's Note

it was better the first time around but this thing logged me out ='[ oh well its still ok. lol. the pick took forever to get right though x.x

Reviews

[Rain]

It's weird. I've seen writer's intentionally create patterns like this. I admire your courage. It really wasn't that bad. It had some good lines in it. Keep writing, and back up everything you write. We had a crash last year that wiped out hundred's of poems that people didn't make copies for. Always keep a copy of your work somewhere else. Since you're new, you can rewrite this piece if you want, delete this copy by going to "Manage writing" then post the revised copy, but don't wait till you get alot of reviews. Good luck, Rain..

[Camilla (A.K.A. Cami) B..]

ah i def meant pic not pick lol. too tired bleh.