Half Hearted Hot Stepping

Half Hearted Hot Stepping

A Poem by Cameron Villarreal
"

Poetry recently written I'd like suggestions for improvement

"
Half Hearted Hot Stepping
Low down sun setting.
Now it's time for the moon, maybe there was a plate and a spoon,
but I know there was something about a cow.
My unabridged childhood unedited explicitly, except for the memories.
Now I try to slow down the Sunday resetting before the weekly bustle goes on.
Now there's no resting and I'm hot stepping coldly, like young toes on familiar stones in the yard.
Life is fast, now, only I move slowly, I'm always out of time or out of mind.
Time moved slowest when I was farthest from being fastest.
Was it in the back seat of a Taurus?
Hearing "here come the hot stepper" on the way to school, I don't quite recall. 
Maybe life was fast then too after all.

© 2016 Cameron Villarreal


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Featured Review

Interesting musing about time, and how we perceive it, especially as we look back on life. I enjoyed the interesting rhyming, and I liked the overall poem too. I also liked the childlike feel of the line "Now it's time for the moon, maybe there was a plate and a spoon" as it really created an image of looking back on childhood. One possible tweak, personally the word 'maybe' in that line doesn't quite sound right in my head. Great read, keep writing :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Interesting musing about time, and how we perceive it, especially as we look back on life. I enjoyed the interesting rhyming, and I liked the overall poem too. I also liked the childlike feel of the line "Now it's time for the moon, maybe there was a plate and a spoon" as it really created an image of looking back on childhood. One possible tweak, personally the word 'maybe' in that line doesn't quite sound right in my head. Great read, keep writing :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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158 Views
1 Review
Added on October 19, 2016
Last Updated on October 19, 2016
Tags: Life, time

Author

Cameron Villarreal
Cameron Villarreal

Arlington, TX



Writing