4.

 

Chase couldn’t sleep anymore. It had been a week since the first letter, and he had received three more. The second letter was a picture of his father, with the eyes and mouth poked out, and the word: KILLER written across the top. Chase would just lay awake at night. He tried listening to music, but he always ended up listening and not sleeping. Right now “Blue Monday” by Orgy was blaring through the low volumes of the stereo. He was afraid of the people sending those letters. What were they going to do? The last letter he received just said: YOU CANNOT HIDE.

Chase was afraid he was going to die. Just then, Payton came back from his meeting, and saw Chase curled up on the couch.

            “Hey man, you alright?” asked Payton. Chase wanted to tell him. But Payton had enough to worry about with his own problems. So Chase faked a smile and said:

            “Nah, I’m fine- just a nightmare.” And Payton left him alone. Chase was alone again.

        

           

            Payton, Floyd and Namine were all eating lunch together at the diner, when Floyd asked a question that sparked something inside Payton:

            “Do you believe in love?”

            Namine replied first: “I thought I did. I thought I was in love once. My first boyfriend. He told me he loved me. And I thought he meant it. Until that b*****d went and cheated on me with some broad. From then on, it was just cheap cigarettes and cheaper sex. I vowed to never let myself become that weak again. I vowed to never again fall in love.”

            “So you think it’s real, you just want no part in it?” asked Floyd.

            Namine laughed lightly: “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Floyd laughed. It was the first time Payton had seen Floyd laugh or smile since his opening up at the group meeting. Was it a real smile or was it fake?

            “How about you, Payton? Do you believe?” asked Floyd.

            “I… don’t know. I want to. But I’ve never been in love before,” Payton replied.

            “It’s not as grand as you think it will be,” replied Namine. Namine vowed to never fall in love. Payton vowed to change her mind.

        

            Just when everything was falling into place, Payton’s life got more complicated. He received an email. It was Andriana. He had thought that she had forgotten about him. He was very wrong. She wanted to meet him for dinner tonight. Payton had already responded to the email saying he would. But, the thing was, Payton hadn’t.

            “Chase!” shouted Payton.

            Chase came running in: “What?!”

            “Why did you respond to Andriana without my permission?!”

            “Come on, man! She’s a really sweet girl! Just let her in!”

            “But I have a meeting tonight!”

            “You can miss one meeting, right? It’s just a date, man! Please?! For me?”

            Payton sighed hard, but relented to Chase’s wishes.

            But what about Namine?

        

            Namine walked into the group meeting, and saw Floyd, but not Payton. She sat next to Floyd, and asked:

            “Have you seen Payton yet?”

            “Nope, he hasn’t shown up. Strange, he’s usually the first person here,” replied Floyd.

            “Do you think there’s something wrong?” asked Namine.

            “Eh, maybe he’s sick, or maybe he has other plans, I don’t know,” replied Floyd. Namine was concerned. Payton hadn’t missed a meeting yet. He was always here. What if he had relapsed? What if his amnesia had passed? What if he… Namine immediately got up and ran out of the hospital.

            “Where are you going?” shouted Floyd as she ran out.

            “I’m going to help Payton!” shouted Namine back. Floyd turned back, sighed, and then got up and ran after Namine.

            Namine ran out of the hospital and jumped into her car. She needed to find Payton. She needed to know he was alright. She remembered the first night they had met. The first kiss they had shared.

        

            Payton sat at the diner that he always went to with Floyd or Namine after the group meeting. He sat, this time, waiting for Andriana Huxtable. The girl that Chase had found him online.  There was soft music over the speakers of the diner, “Asleep” by The Smiths.

            Andriana entered the diner, and sat down across from Payton. He smiled at her, the first time he had since they had started dating, but immediately went into conversation. It was the first conversation that Payton had started in the past month.

            “Hey- do you know what the word eccedentesiast means?” asked Payton. Andriana stopped and looked confused.

            “No, what is it?” asked Andriana cheerfully.

            “It’s a person who fakes smiles. Feigns happiness to others,” replied Payton. Andriana frowned a little at this.

            “Why did you bring that up?” asked Andriana.

            “Because I believe that most people are eccedentesiasts. Now, why do you fake smiles?” asked Payton. Andriana seemed confused, and also saddened.

            “Because… if my parents really knew I was back cutting myself, they would kick me out of the house and stop paying for my education,” replied Andriana.

Payton was dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to say. Andriana had the face of an angel, but when she lifted her sleeves, he could see the scars were grounded in from repeated cuts. She was at the bottom with Payton. With Floyd and Namine. Namine… Payton was still in love with Namine. But was it possible to be in love with two people at once?

            Andriana pulled her sleeves back down, and looked down in shame. Payton looked at her, and smiled. A genuine, real, heartfelt smile.

            “Andriana, thank you for sharing yourself,” said Payton. Andriana smiled back. Payton didn’t know if it was genuine or not.

            “Thank you for listening… No one has ever listened before…” replied Andriana.

            “Andriana… Do you believe in love?” asked Payton. Andriana must’ve taken some kind of hint that Payton wasn’t putting off, because just as he asked that, she leaned in and kissed him.

            It was a nice kiss, but it felt dirty. When Payton closed his eyes, he didn’t think of Andriana. He thought of Namine. He thought of how he wanted to recreate that first kiss they had, all those weeks ago. He wanted to be with Namine.

        

            Namine and Floyd both drove to Payton’s apartment to see if he was there. They knocked until there was an answer, from a tall man with short brown hair.

            “Hello?... Oh hey, Floyd!” said the man.

            “Hello Chase!” responded Floyd. Namine was confused. How did Floyd know this guy? Neither of them had ever been to Payton’s apartment before.

            “Have you seen Payton tonight? He wasn’t at the meeting,” asked Floyd.

            “No I haven’t seen him- sorry!” said Chase. Namine was upset- Payton was missing and Chase didn’t seem the least bit concerned.

            “Where do you think he went?” asked Namine desperately.

            “I don’t know, wish I could help!” shouted Chase, as he closed the door in their faces. Namine was even more distraught.

            “Let’s just try the diner,” said Namine pitifully.

        

            Chase had grown extremely paranoid, after receiving more and more letters from the anonymous sender. The letters had messages like: ‘WE ARE WATCHING YOU’ or ‘DON’T TRY TO RUN’. He began receiving calls from blocked numbers, and the caller would be someone with a voice changer, reading the same messages that the letters had been saying.

            Chase sat in his dark room, alone, curled up on his bed, afraid to even open his blinds to his windows. Korn’s “Got the Life” played loudly through his stereo, trying to block out the world.  Suddenly, a vicious knocking occurred at the door. Chase was afraid that it was the people that had been messaging him. He was afraid that he was going to die.

            Chase opened the door to see a girl standing with a man with a familiar face, Floyd.

            “Hello?... Oh hey, Floyd!” said Chase. He was relieved to see it wasn’t some masked men trying to snuff him, but he was still paranoid that someone could be watching him if he kept his door opened for a long time. He had to make this conversation quick.

            “Hello Chase!” responded Floyd. “Have you seen Payton tonight? He wasn’t at the meeting.”

            “No I haven’t seen him- sorry!” said Chase. Which was a lie. He knew Payton was at the diner, on a date, but he didn’t want Floyd or anyone else messing with that. This was time for Payton to be free of the chains of his past. Chase knew that he would want the same freedom too.

            “Where do you think he went?” asked the girl desperately. Just then, Chase looked out to see a masked man step out of the forest near the apartments. He stopped and looked up at Chase. If he could see his eyes, Chase would’ve been making direct eye contact with the man.

            “I don’t know, wish I could help!” shouted Chase, as he shut the door quickly, locking it and running back to his room. Chase was breathing heavy, and his heart raced. He didn’t know what to do. He knew now that soon, he was going to die.