Those Things I Have Done

This is a poem I wrote, inspired from the poem, 'that subtle feeling' by Simon Armitage. I hope you like it :) Its probably more dramatic and thought provoking, so I hope you can relate to this.

I have not attended the downfall of humankind,

a cacophony of atomic bombs exploding and blood-curdling shrieks ringing,

in my ears, unnatural forces blasting everything in

multiple directions as if the world had never seen sense.

 I have felt the desolation of losing a loved one in a car accident.

 

I have not roamed aimlessly in the Sahara Desert,

owning only the fragments of fabric and knotted rope,

that dangle off my emaciated shoulders, sand billowing

around me, acting as a personal tornado to cleanse

myself from my ever-accumulating sins. But I

 

 

Trekked alone through murky marshes inhabitated by

slimy seaweed, of which the tendrils wrapped themselves

tightly around my ankles, loosening their unyielding grip

only when I tugged my feet away from them, so that

I could warmly embrace my frail grandmother waiting on the other side.

 

 

I have not swum across the English Channel to

boldly claim that I have raised thousands for a famous chairty;

but I have fought my inexplicable terror for deep water as I

catapulted into my rippling reflection as a young child without

armbands wandered helplessly into the profound, navy depths of the pool.

 

And I suppose that the sensation of flitting butterflies in the stomach,

and the wild throb that pulsates dangerously in the veins

active somewhere within us both are part of that sense of

something else. That feeling. And it is then I can say that

I am proud. Proud of those things I have done.

Reviews

[Kira]

I like the comparisons, almost as extreme but not quite, and the imagery. The only downfall was the unneeded choppiness and the ever-changing format. It made it a bit hard to make out a rythym, but was definitely worth it. Great work.

[Jessica]

i really liked this poem it was easy to read and very clear its shows a vivid image of what you are describing! Good Job!

[Flo_writer]

You have painted a picture clear imaginary here. This is a well written poetry. I do find the line breaks to be odd and not sure why you broke them that way with so much space at certain section. But every thing you describe throughout your poem captivated me.

[Crowley]

Another good poem, I think the formatting and line breaks are a little awkward making the pace a little jerkier than your other poem, but the writing is super good, the description is beautiful and the subject matter is very interesting. Nice job.

[fireblossom]

I love this poem! You are one good poet.