Steping up

This comes later

For a longtime I never knew who I was or what I was meant to be. I was so unsure of myself, never believing I could be someone. But then I got my powers and I became, not only one of the prodigies, but THE prodigy. The sister who inherited the most power because she was the only one who could control them.

  At first, it was exciting to have that much power but then when reality hit I realized that it was an incredible responsibilty and it frightened me. But as time went by and I learned to control my powers better I started to be reasurred. But even as I was going through the process of controlling my powers I never once doubted who I was; am.

  Things changed when Jessie died. I lost my security in myself and in my powers. I doubted myself and my destiny. Hell, I doubted everything. I nearly lost my way completely.

   It got worse when we found out about Sammie. I was horrible to her that first month. I blamed her for Jessie's death even though I knew that it wasn'y her fault. No one could bring me out of the darkness that surrounded me; not Dani or Ryan or anyone else. At least that's what I thought.

   I was watching the rain from where I sat balled up in a chair on the back deck when Ford sat down beside me. For the first time since Jessie's death I felt a different emotion other than anger or grief when he sat down.  I felt utterly calm and I had no idea why.

  We sat there for a few minutes both of us staring out at the rain, neither of us saying a word. He broke the silence first. "My sister died about a year ago. Right before we got our powers. I remember standing by her bed in the hospital willing her to come back.  Of course she didn't.

  I fought back the tears as I listened to him continue.

 "She was my big sister, my best friend. I went through this phase where I was so mad at her for leaving me, so angry that she'd left me. She was my big sister. The one person in my life that I could lean on when things got too tough. It was her job, right? What I didn't realize until later was that when she died I became the oldest sibling. It was my responsibilty to make sure that my little sister was okay. And I realized that by acting the way I was I was letting them both down." Ford took a deep breath and then he looked at me.

  "What I'm saying is grieve, get angry, scream, cry, throw things. Do what you need to do to help yourself but don't take it out on the people who love you. Maybe you should think about your two little sisters in there.

Author's Note

finish later