Mothers Wrath?

A Story by Calvspw

a childs memory, a woman's story the life she lived

Mothers Wrath? (long help me revise?)

To all the weeping hearts Of the 60's and 70's

A child learning to Love as it should have been,
Instead learned how to cry.
A mother's words of scorn.

She took in the child Of her husbands betrayal.
A forgotten soul Without a mothers love,
She learned early, to mingle with Spirits, and never let Mother see her Cry.

For if she cried the beatings got worse, days of fear not to look her way,
Keeping out from under scorns rage, 3 sisters she learned to hate,
For they constantly too tortured her too.

She remembers a night when she might have been 5,
Jumping on the bed, One sister pushed her from the Top bunk,
Off she feel and cracked her head.

Mother told her she deserved it and to hush before she gave her more,
Nothing to cry about she said, Father came home from work,
Seen his child bleeding and rushed her to the Hospital.

He told her don't cry, try to be brave.
Shot 6 stitches and a shaved head.
From this day forward she learned how to fish, hunt and fix cars,

Daddy’s way of keeping her from the abuse.
NO one telling her The Mother was not her Mother at all,
But the woman who took her in To make the father suffer his betrayal.

The daughter who he could not take,
The one who tied Mother to him,
And Left him a battered soul.

The many times he tried to leave,
Mother made her call him and say come home,
She told You better come back unless you want this death on your Hands,

A child who never understood those words, instead of love she learned Pain.
Instead of she learned To Fly, with spirits
Always a Fantasy this child tried to see.

Keep her mind from this pain. Sleep with eyes open,
Sleep with ears toned to hear a mouse creep,
For if she didn't she’d wake with a Glass bottle being beat.

Mother kept saying you’re not my flesh and blood, Get of my face.
These words she never understood. She gave her heart, to mother,
Hoping she'd love her and be her friend,

When she was 12 she went to work, Than she gave mother Money hoping to buy the Love she craved.
Mother just laughed and called her a disgrace.
She poured her heart into her schoolwork,

Writing poems, learning to inflict self pain,
Dutily Cutting, the scars so deep, Always keeping them Hidden,
But it didn't matter for mother never looked her way.

She learned how to act, and Joined Drama class.
Her poems in journals she kept under her bed.
When she would go to plays and learn how to act,

Her sister in cars would run, Playing and teasing
The boys to her were just a game.
She'd come home early, telling mom sister was with the boy.
When she came home from school the rage would fly.

For mother was waiting with the switch, the branch of the weeping willow across her face,
Her backside, legs and arms the switch would fly.
She better not say a word, for mother said that was tattling and the beating was worse.

She'd send her to her room NO supper tonight.
The day she turned 16 from the house she'd run
Sleeping in gutters or hiding in shadows

Crying, with pain yearning for love she'd never learn.
The next morning to school she would go.
The teachers looked her with pity, trying to give her encouragement she didn't know how to take.

She left home out on her own when she was just 18.
Working and striving to be strong, depend on NO one be not a disgrace.
When she turned 21 To the Army she fled.

She thought the heart would grow founder,
Instead the rage came in letters, reminding her of her shame,
The scars so deep No one seen, she held her head high, and strived to Be number 1.

She met her dream lover, friends they became, her scars she kept hidden,
She knew him from the shadows, she'd Mingled with his spirit as a child.
She'd learned of love and made a child.

To Mother she wrote she was so Proud, She'd found her Soul mate.
Mothers words came with scorn, the disgrace she shamed her to her face,
Mother called her a w***e, a b*****d and more.

She learned her mother was prejudiced this day for you see her Lover was a man of color,
She'd fallen so deeply, She was so proud, She learned of love,
Only to push him away for Mother said Kill him with all his race.

These words from Mother she never spoke,
She left him with the words of love and Marriage on his tongue.
Taking a part of his spirit within herself in his child she bore.

A son they had so beautiful and full of grace, fighting for his life
those first days, She called home to mother and asked for her prayer,
Instead she laughed in her ear telling her she'd pray he's die For he was of mixed race.

She told her She'd better not marry his father or the child would die, Her Curse so evil Mothers word was Said.
She poured her heart into this child, the spirit of the man she loved so deep.
When the child was almost 2 she was sent to Germany in the Army and She had to ask the Father,

The man she loved so deep to keep their child until she could send for him
With love and pride he took him asking her again for A hand in Marriage,
She had to say NO never telling him why, but she feared her Mothers words
Feared a Curse and fled. The man told her he needed a wife,

if she wouldn't have him, he'd take another for he needed to be loved and love he'd give.
She felt so bad, her heart torn. She told him she didn't love him and wished him well.
Again she left him with love hidden from him, hoping to safe his life.

She fled to Germany and to another mans arms, and bed she laid,
He too was of Color but also a mixed race. She thought she could forget the
Curse and married this second man, for she was with child and was told by the Army unwed she could not stay.

Mother wrote the commander and told him of her disgrace, the commander to was prejudiced and scorned her marriage.
She held her head low in shame, pouring her heart into her work,
loving her children, taking her husbands abuse, for he said He was sorry, He loved her with rage.

The beating she again tried to hide. She thought beatings were love for she grew up it from a mother,
and a mother should love her child, or so she was told.
The child born of this marriage another son broken and battered,

The child was born, The torture the commander gave her now giving birth, she was told the child would have to wait to be born ,
Until they got to the army hospital, the child Couldn't wait, The ambulance took her to the German hospital emergency room,
Evey one screaming the child had to wait, On a chair he was born, wrapped in a blanket and put in the Ambulance, they were scorned.

The commander rode with then to the American hospital and the baby was taken to the nursery cleaned and weighed.
The mother sat in a chair, forgotten by for they didn't even wait to check her in they left her bleeding,
And torn. Hours later a nurse took her to a bed to rest. Calling the commander saying come get her, she can not stay,

Home she was sent with the baby in tow, The commander told he if she give the child to him and sign papers giving up her rights the child could live.
She told him to leave and closed the door. The baby crying her 2 and a 1/2 year old trying to help, calling the husband, he came home right away, to find her
Passed out and bleeding on the floor, the Ambulance called to hospital she is taken, again being told if she gave up the child she'd be treated and given a bed,

But if she kept this baby there was the door she pushed away. The next days are blurry and hospital doors rooms she remembers the child needing care,
Doctors turning her out, listening to the commander that the child had NO papers and could not be treated.

She remembers napping waking in freight her screaming the baby gasping, the 2 year old take to the neighbor? Its all such a blur the baby she hears crying,
The doctors face telling her the baby is dead, She screams and to the floor she falls,
The next thing she remembers she's home the Commander in her face, telling her killed her child she should have signed the papers. He would be alive.

Her marriage annulled and away she is sent the young boy of 2 with her, to mother they are sent, She is told if she goes willingly she won't be charged for the murder
of the baby, TJ she named him Torsten after his father, but all the people said she must forget him, she was punished for her disgrace should have stayed in her race.

The Mother tells her her curse still lies on the son without a father, the man she has left. Again she is told if she marries him the child is cursed Always the son will die, if she marries the father,
A daughter will be her curse a tongue like her grandma the mother says she lived her life without for she'll never be loved she is a disgrace.

The woman broken heart torn in two left in the street Her mother tells she can come in only without the child the son of the man her soul mate.

by Calvspw

© 2008 Calvspw

Author's Note

Author's Comments:
"I know this is not a poem or a prose its more a short story its not finished but I'm exhausted to night I haven't slept since Saturday and its now Tuesday morning at 4:35 am. Thanks to all of those who have reviewed my other pieces and those who have shared with me their religious views and views on love. Kudos to you all cari"